i wrote a poem...

ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

blessthefates!

hand of time? WTF?

silly noob...


any real people got any opinions?

blessthefates!

Yeah you cock sucker, I think you shouldn’t have skipped kindergarten.

wsdwserw4penizs wrote: Yeah you cock sucker, I think you shouldn’t have skipped kindergarten.

It’s poetry. If you have something actually constructive to say, say it, otherwise, respectfully, buzz off.

Damn,I can never understand poetry for some reason.

Szayel wrote: Damn,I can never understand poetry for some reason.

how? its easy lol

blessthefates!

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

great poem

“Sometimes i feel like a butterfly trapped inside a cocoon
wishing i could spread my wings and fly away”

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

U = PUSSY

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

U = PUSSY

no, its called being good with the ladies

blessthefates!

Archangel Azrael wrote:

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

U = PUSSY

no, its called being good with the ladies

lol, it’s called being a bitch.

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

How Tweet I Tort Tat T’waZ...



Fur A Moment Tehn I Tort I 'Ad A Heart




Well .. MeZa Felt Sommert TingelinG Inside MeZ ...


*BurpZ}


Ohh!


TwaZ A ToucH Of Delibelly ..




Well!










Maybe

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote:

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

U = PUSSY

no, its called being good with the ladies

lol, it’s called being a bitch.

this coming from the guy who likes girls with huge asses and boobs bigger than texas....

blessthefates!

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

these r the lines that i dont think sound right.
....................................................

Brushing away the hands of time,

id say

brushing away your hand from mine,
would be a crime, shoot me dead where i lie,
(these are only quick ideas)

&

The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,(meaningfully seems too long)

&

Taking away all of the fright,
(i dont like this)

id say

it takes me away like a kite through sub zero nights,

Moose E.B. AKA CartOOn Villain

those wre jus quick ideas,
i dint match em' wid the poem

Moose E.B. AKA CartOOn Villain

well the only one i feel like commenting from yours dude, is, why would i want to brush her hands away from mine...

i love her lol, you know when you are in love, and you are staring into her eyes, and time seems to stand still... thats what that part is talking about...

blessthefates!

Archangel Azrael wrote: well the only one i feel like commenting from yours dude, is, why would i want to brush her hands away from mine...

i love her lol, you know when you are in love, and you are staring into her eyes, and time seems to stand still... thats what that part is talking about...

i said...... brushing your hand away from mine, would be criminal, a crime, shoot me here where i lie/

Moose E.B. AKA CartOOn Villain

it wouldnt fit with the rest of the poem.

blessthefates!

Archangel Azrael wrote:

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote:

King John wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: ya im in a writing mood... what lit. freak isnt? lol
anyway, i wrote it for my girlfriend, so tell me what you think...
— — -

Soft,
Your eyes against mine,
Brushing away the hands of time,

My hand in yours,
We laugh away,
The words 'I Love You' I meaningfully say,

I hold you tight,
All day All Night,
Taking away all of the fright,

Leaning in hoping to kiss,
We only pray,
that I don’t miss,

Engaged we are in only this,
The sweetest smile,
An endless bliss.

U = PUSSY

no, its called being good with the ladies

lol, it’s called being a bitch.

this coming from the guy who likes girls with huge asses and boobs bigger than texas....

Who said anything about boobs? And so I like chicks with big asses that negates the fact that you’re a pussy bitch?

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

Archangel Azrael wrote: it wouldnt fit with the rest of the poem.

make every line of the poem a few words longer, describe and egzagarate words, and it will look & sound better.

right now it sound borin.......imean theres nothin to it.

keep addin to it

Moose E.B. AKA CartOOn Villain