i wrote a poem...

lol, what am I making up? What don’t I know? Finally, how am I flaming you? You asked what we thought about the poem, I answered. If you can’t take criticism on your literary work, then don’t ask for people’s opinion then insult there intelligence when they disagree with you. If anything you’re flaming lol faggoty beaner,real mature.

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

l3376543210 wrote: I really like the poem.

It’s better than John’s and Moose’s poems I bet.

Geass wrote:

l3376543210 wrote: I really like the poem.

It’s better than John’s and Moose’s poems I bet.

lol, and you bade that claim on what?

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

Mah poem:

And now, when merry winds do blow,
And rain makes trees look fresh,
An overpowering staleness holds
This mortal flesh.

Though well I love to feel the rain,
And be by winds well blown —
The mystery of mortal life
Doth press me down.

And, In this mood, come now what will,
bright Rainbow, Cuckoo call;
There is no thing in Heaven or Earth
Can lift my soul.

I know not where this state comes from —
No cause for grief I know;
The Earth around is fresh and green,
Flowers near me grow.

I sit between two fair rose trees;
Red roses on my right,
And on my left side roses are
A lovely white.

The little birds are full of joy,
Lambs bleating all the day;
The colt runs after the old mare,
And children play.

And still there comes this dark, dark hour
Which is not borne of Care;
Into my heart it creeps before
I am aware.

King John wrote:

Geass wrote:

l3376543210 wrote: I really like the poem.

It’s better than John’s and Moose’s poems I bet.

lol, and you bade that claim on what?

From the Poetry you write in the music section.

Geass wrote:

King John wrote:

Geass wrote:

l3376543210 wrote: I really like the poem.

It’s better than John’s and Moose’s poems I bet.

lol, and you bade that claim on what?

From the Poetry you write in the music section.

And what “Poem” have I written that is worse than what Skullypussy wrote?

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

Look at the raps you make.

lol

and i just made another that i just wrote in like a minute...

Slowly weathered throughout the years,
His only place is behind his tears.

They are all quick to judge this humble soul,
All these year have taken toll.

Ready to die a painless death,
He gets ready to hold his breath.

Then he catches out his eye,
Another face just as wry.

She tries to hide it behind a smile,
But he could tell after a short while.

Head over heals he falls there,
As they become an unlikely pair.

No longer does he hide behind his tears,
He is happy for the first time in years.

Geass wrote: Look at the raps you make.

I understand that’s what you were talking about, which one do you find worse?

Feet hanging out the window, jock my shoe game/// Cause all my kicks fly, like Liu Kang///
Lil Wayne - First Place Winner

King John wrote:

Geass wrote: Look at the raps you make.

I understand that’s what you were talking about, which one do you find worse?

WHAHEYY.....FIND IT FIND IT

fagz

iight

my most recent verse:
the golden sun light runs down 1 side of my mind, the other covered in doubts n bouts i cant fight//
but blood vessels wont be hassled tryin to tackle this unnecessary battle where yall think im..../ /
destined, to wrestle, to keep these peepers open, but even if those three zeezs dont get stolen//
ill be leavin the V.E.T. speaker solo, see speakerzzz knows E.B. oh, he be golden//
moulded on hip hops mid finger rest folded, raised to the mid night sky in slow motion//
i help hold petron proposing toasts to homez, like im the maid of the house when im not just gold son//
my cold tong retreats when lazyness competes with dreams, like a stroke so i pet it count sheep n sleep//
lines 5 & 6 repeat, i wake get to my feet to see im competing for the bottom 3 on M.V.C., JEEZE!//
i bet a matter of weeks the podiums under me, voted worst on M.V.C., controled posts got me close//
i mean to ownin M.V.C., DK n counter clockwise are outdone, times taken soes patience A.K.A. IVE WON!//


VS


your most recent verse:

lol

and i just made another that i just wrote in like a minute...

Slowly weathered throughout the years,
His only place is behind his tears.

They are all quick to judge this humble soul,
All these year have taken toll.

Ready to die a painless death,
He gets ready to hold his breath.

Then he catches out his eye,
Another face just as wry.

She tries to hide it behind a smile,
But he could tell after a short while.

Head over heals he falls there,
As they become an unlikely pair.

No longer does he hide behind his tears,
He is happy for the first time in years.

and u did tha lol....lol

im not bein harsh bruh, im just statin a fact.

^^^ were jus sayin it could be better n dont think its a really good poem, cos its not. if u want i could give ya some tips... i dont mind

then how come you 2 are the only ones who think its a bad poem?

Archangel Azrael wrote: then how come you 2 are the only ones who think its a bad poem?

its a good rhyme...im not doubtin that bruh but poems are more advanced, use more advance similyz n stuff like dat

Archangel Azrael wrote: then how come you 2 are the only ones who think its a bad poem?

Well I doubt we’re the only ones, but I can only speak for myself and the poem is the same thing you’d expect to see any high school boy giving to there GF, some corny,sappy, poorly put together attempt at poetry.

KlNG JOHN wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: then how come you 2 are the only ones who think its a bad poem?

Well I doubt we’re the only ones, but I can only speak for myself and the poem is the same thing you’d expect to see any high school boy giving to there GF, some corny,sappy, poorly put together attempt at poetry.

YEPYEP

Moose E.B. wrote:

Archangel Azrael wrote: then how come you 2 are the only ones who think its a bad poem?

its a good rhyme...im not doubtin that bruh but poems are more advanced, use more advance similyz n stuff like dat

BASICLY.....DEEPER

hows about this then... wrote it just right now, on the spot..

Perfect Day

Move a mountain
Fall a Star
Love his Girl
No matter how far

For better or worse
Forever more
Take her out
Even when poor

Rope the moon
Pull it in
These are things
I’d do again

For you I’d do
Most anything
I’d dance and laugh
I’d even sing

Nature speaks
To both at night
I’ll hold you close
I’ll hold you tight

We stare at the stars
As we reminisce away
As we end peacefully
Another perfect day

poets are ghey