Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 9,333
OFFLINE
tuscan1Happy to help
Rep: 32
Part (1) THE FINDINGS.
“Spread the word my son, time is here, time for you and me to take hold of the moment” Jason gript his fathers hand as hard as he could “NOW!" his father shouted “NOW MY SON JUMP!" his father leened foward pulling at Jason’s arm almost ripping it out of it’s socket Jason didnt have the stragth to pull back “NO!" Jason shouted “I CANT DO IT!" his little legs where shaking with fear “YOU MUST! WE DONT HAVE MUCH TIME IT MUST BE NOW!" his father replied, the wind seem to take the words away from Jason “I CANT HEAR YOU!" Jason shouted back, his hands sweating and slowly losing his grip on his father “COME WITH ME JASON!" “I CANT I’M SORRY FATHER I JUST CANT!" his fathers hand slowly let go of his.
Stepping foward his father looked back “Ok then i must do this on my own” he wispered “FATHER NO!" Jason screamed but it was to late his father had gone Jason turned to the railings on the side of the old iron bridge his hands so cold from the howling wind he could hardly get a good hold of the rusty rail but some how he managed to pull himself up and over the top bar now on the solid concrete Jason could reflect on what had just happend his father was dead.
Tears rolled down his face each one holding a memorie of his father “no be brave” he wispered to himself, wipping away the tears and his thoughts for his father he new he had things to do people to find and qustions to be ansawed.
__________________

Last edited 24 Jan 2007 08:12 am by tuscan1
Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
I am writing a book that will be about 347 pages long I would post the first chapter on here but I dont want people stealing it because it isent copyrighted yet.
It is called The Cat and the Mouse.
To give you an idea what it is about think about Halloween/When a stranger calls kind of setting.
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Last edited 22 Jan 2007 04:40 pm by Aaron McKay
Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 21,939
DingoMaDnESsSsS!
Rep: 82
GROOVY Aaron. should be Awesome!
'get off the phone, he’s calling from within the house..OMFG runnnnnn!!'
__________________

Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
Ok I’ll tell you this the main character is named Linda Kroft and she just broke up with her boyfriend so she goes on a chat room and finds a nice dude named Brandon. She meets him and likes him very much but what she doesent know is that Brandon escaped from the institution for the mentally ill. And to make matters worse Brandon is Linda’s best friends' brother Justin. Brandon wants to kill Justin for calling the cops on his dad when he wittness him killing his mother. Now Linda must help Justin stay alive. Who is the Cat who is the mouse. Is Brandon the killer the preditor or the prey. Will Linda have to become a killer to protect Justin?
There that is a very...very short look at what it is about.
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Last edited 22 Jan 2007 08:39 pm by Aaron McKay
Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,458
OFFLINE
Useful_IdiotDamn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
Rep: 7
no1 rated my 2 chapters yet
i mite sfter the other 3 chapters start su,mmin new called..... ah i wonnt tell yet
alrite!idk wat to do next k
__________________
(\_/) Add Bunny to sig to help him achieve world domination.
('.') http://Consoles.real-incentives.com/43912
{"}{"}
Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
I read it was pretty good
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 21,939
DingoMaDnESsSsS!
Rep: 82
will read and rate all peoples stories tonight. in around 6 hours or so
__________________

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
tuscan1 wrote:
Chapter (1) THE FINDINGS.
“Spread the word my son, time is here, time for you and me to take hold of the moment” Jason gript his fathers hand as hard as he could “NOW!" his father shouted “NOW MY SON JUMP!" his father leened foward pulling at Jason’s arm almost ripping it out of it’s socket Jason didnt have the stragth to pull back “NO!" Jason shouted “I CANT DO IT!" his little legs where shaking with fear “YOU MUST! WE DONT HAVE MUCH TIME IT MUST BE NOW!" his father replied, the wind seem to take the words away from Jason “I CANT HEAR YOU!" Jason shouted back, his hands sweating and slowly losing his grip on his father “COME WITH ME JASON!" “I CANT I’M SORRY FATHER I JUST CANT!" his fathers hand slowly let go of his.
Stepping foward his father looked back “Ok then i must do this on my own” he wispered “FATHER NO!" Jason screamed but it was to late his father had gone Jason turned to the railings on the side of the old iron bridge his hands so cold from the howling wind he could hardly get a good hold of the rusty rail but some how he managed to pull himself up and over the top bar now on the solid concrete Jason could reflect on what had just happend his father was dead.
Tears rolled down his face each one holding a memorie of his father “no be brave” he wispered to himself, wipping away the tears and his thoughts for his father he new he had things to do people to find and qustions to be ansawed.
Nice.
__________________
Club: Ramunematt Is A Fucking Dumbass

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
Aaron McKay wrote:
I am writing a book that will be about 347 pages long I would post the first chapter on here but I dont want people stealing it because it isent copyrighted yet.
It is called The Cat and the Mouse.
To give you an idea what it is about think about Halloween/When a stranger calls kind of setting.
You can write?
__________________
Club: Ramunematt Is A Fucking Dumbass

Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
Yes I write poetry and short stories songs music and I want to publish my stuff in about 5 years..
I’m trying to form a band too but no one can sing where I live and I need a really good lead guitar player.
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
Nice, you should post your stuff on your myspace blogs and set them to friends only.
__________________
Club: Ramunematt Is A Fucking Dumbass

Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,458
OFFLINE
Useful_IdiotDamn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
Rep: 7
i can sing but ive got a vboice like a girl
__________________
(\_/) Add Bunny to sig to help him achieve world domination.
('.') http://Consoles.real-incentives.com/43912
{"}{"}
Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
That’s cause you’re a little one. When you get big like Aaron you will sound like Michael.
__________________
Club: Ramunematt Is A Fucking Dumbass

Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
Online Predator wrote:
That’s cause you’re a little one. When you get big like Aaron you will sound like Michael.
...pulls out knife and slits throat
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21

__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Joined: 28 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,458
OFFLINE
Useful_IdiotDamn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
Rep: 7
meow
__________________
(\_/) Add Bunny to sig to help him achieve world domination.
('.') http://Consoles.real-incentives.com/43912
{"}{"}
Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 14,636
OFFLINE
Aaron McKayThe drummer
Rep: 21
Where’s the cat....grabs his rifle
__________________
<iframe src=“http://gamercard.xbox.com/REPLACE-THIS-WITH-YOUR-GAMERTAG.card” scrolling=“no” frameBorder=“0” height=“140” width=“204”>Put your gamertag here too.</iframe>
http://www.myspace.com/linkious

Joined: 05 Jan 2007
Posts: 9,333
OFFLINE
tuscan1Happy to help
Rep: 32
Online Predator wrote:
tuscan1 wrote:
Chapter (1) THE FINDINGS.
“Spread the word my son, time is here, time for you and me to take hold of the moment” Jason gript his fathers hand as hard as he could “NOW!" his father shouted “NOW MY SON JUMP!" his father leened foward pulling at Jason’s arm almost ripping it out of it’s socket Jason didnt have the stragth to pull back “NO!" Jason shouted “I CANT DO IT!" his little legs where shaking with fear “YOU MUST! WE DONT HAVE MUCH TIME IT MUST BE NOW!" his father replied, the wind seem to take the words away from Jason “I CANT HEAR YOU!" Jason shouted back, his hands sweating and slowly losing his grip on his father “COME WITH ME JASON!" “I CANT I’M SORRY FATHER I JUST CANT!" his fathers hand slowly let go of his.
Stepping foward his father looked back “Ok then i must do this on my own” he wispered “FATHER NO!" Jason screamed but it was to late his father had gone Jason turned to the railings on the side of the old iron bridge his hands so cold from the howling wind he could hardly get a good hold of the rusty rail but some how he managed to pull himself up and over the top bar now on the solid concrete Jason could reflect on what had just happend his father was dead.
Tears rolled down his face each one holding a memorie of his father “no be brave” he wispered to himself, wipping away the tears and his thoughts for his father he new he had things to do people to find and qustions to be ansawed.
Nice.
Thankyou for your coment look out for ch2 its only a short story but i feel it has content.
__________________

Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 9,100
OFFLINE
Online PredatorThe one and only OP
Rep: 27
tuscan1 wrote:
Online Predator wrote:
tuscan1 wrote:
Chapter (1) THE FINDINGS.
“Spread the word my son, time is here, time for you and me to take hold of the moment” Jason gript his fathers hand as hard as he could “NOW!" his father shouted “NOW MY SON JUMP!" his father leened foward pulling at Jason’s arm almost ripping it out of it’s socket Jason didnt have the stragth to pull back “NO!" Jason shouted “I CANT DO IT!" his little legs where shaking with fear “YOU MUST! WE DONT HAVE MUCH TIME IT MUST BE NOW!" his father replied, the wind seem to take the words away from Jason “I CANT HEAR YOU!" Jason shouted back, his hands sweating and slowly losing his grip on his father “COME WITH ME JASON!" “I CANT I’M SORRY FATHER I JUST CANT!" his fathers hand slowly let go of his.
Stepping foward his father looked back “Ok then i must do this on my own” he wispered “FATHER NO!" Jason screamed but it was to late his father had gone Jason turned to the railings on the side of the old iron bridge his hands so cold from the howling wind he could hardly get a good hold of the rusty rail but some how he managed to pull himself up and over the top bar now on the solid concrete Jason could reflect on what had just happend his father was dead.
Tears rolled down his face each one holding a memorie of his father “no be brave” he wispered to himself, wipping away the tears and his thoughts for his father he new he had things to do people to find and qustions to be ansawed.
Nice.
Thankyou for your coment look out for ch2 its only a short story but i feel it has content.
Yes, your story is off to a good start and seems to have potential with the whole mystery.
__________________
Club: Ramunematt Is A Fucking Dumbass
