Songs/ Poems I Made..

Randomly.. some have to do with feelings atm..

“Everytime I close my eyes your there,
Everytime I breath I know your breathing the same air,
Everytime I cried you were there,
Everytime I tried to help, you where no-where,
Everytime I gave my heart a sole, now thats not even there,
Everytime, I dare keep you there, inside my heart
Everytime it turns more dark.“

“Blood,
Screaming,
What is this madness?
Dark,
Terror,
What is this sadness?
Hateful,
Death,
Is this all thats left?
Cold,
Lonley,
Is there anyone that can hold me?
Stupid,
Worthless,
Can anyone undo this?“

“Everythings so fucked up,
Prove to me that I’m not nuts,
Show it to me that you have the guts,
Step up to the plate,
Lets try and relate,
You don’t have to love me anymore,
My heart has been thrown out the door,
So take that gun,
Show me your number one,
Put it to my face,
Tell me that I am a disgrace,
Let me know how you really feel,
Tell me whats the deal,
Some things time cant heal,
I like to pretend none of this is real,
So come on seal my fate,
Guess you could call it a date,
You were never my one true mate,
To you I was just some bait,
You lored me in,
Intention to sin,
Use me as meat,
Like a husband whos wife hed beat,
I’d rather live on the street,
Then be your meat,
So go on make your defeat,
Stand right infront of my feet,
Pull the trigger,
Make a hole,
Put it right were there used to be a sole.“

[I might like you better,if we slept together.]

SKITTLES666 wrote:
“Everytime I close my eyes your there,
Everytime I breath I know your breathing the same air,
Everytime I cried you were there,
Everytime I tried to help, you where no-where,
Everytime I gave my heart a sole, now thats not even there,
Everytime, I dare keep you there, inside my heart
Everytime it turns more dark.“

Just a little constructive criticism.. You used “there” waaay too much, you need to find something else to rhyme, you dont wanna rhyme with the same word for 5 lines...


And on that song, it just sounds too whiny (no offense) But im just saying you dont wanna come off as “whiny” or no one will appreciate your music. Trust me, I used to right lyrics where I was just complaining about stuff pretty much and you will look back on that when you get better like “wtf was I thinking?"

Yeah thanks for the advice..

[I might like you better,if we slept together.]

SKITTLES666 wrote: Yeah thanks for the advice..

http://www.secretsofsongwriting.com/

Heres a site that shows you how to structure a song so it will be good form, for the more detailed stuff you have to buy the book, but this pretty much shows the basics.

I’ll post some of my songs here tomorrow, I gotta find em'.

Oh alrighty, thankies.
Do you think my songs are bad tho?

[I might like you better,if we slept together.]

SKITTLES666 wrote: Oh alrighty, thankies.
Do you think my songs are bad tho?

No, you just gotta write them in the right structure so it flows better, and find some better vocabulary and rhyme schemes. You have the right point in mind, and that could def. make a good sounding song.

Oh alright thanks for your input.

[I might like you better,if we slept together.]

my song to Skittles.



Skittles — hold me in your arms tonight

Skittles — Let me take away your fear tonight

Skittles — all you have to do is hold me tight

You came to me in a dream the blackness and the fear you bring
your hair so black your face so pale
you tell me of your painful tale

Skittles — hold me in your arms tonight

Skittles — Let me take away your fear tonight

Skittles — all you have to do is hold me tight

So many times are love has failed
it feels as though your hands are nailed
just reach out and touch your hart
ill will take away the scariest part

Skittles — hold me in your arms tonight

Skittles — Let me take away your fear tonight

Skittles — all you have to do is hold me tight



That all i got at the moment............

tuscan.... I’ve got to say....












































































































































that’s really fucking creepy.

Aww thats so sweet!!!!
Sorry no one has ever writen a song for me..
*hugs*
Reading that made my day.

[I might like you better,if we slept together.]

“my heart bleeds”
my heart bleeds for one like you
my heart bleeds i wish you knew
my heart bleeds when your not here
i fear for you when youre not near

my heart bleeds for you i live
for you my life i will give
my heart bleeds when you are hurt
you are everything all else is dirt

my heart bleeds when your not well
with you in love i deeply fell
my heart bleeds for your sake
for you only my heart will break

my heart bleeds when youre not here
i fear for you when youre not near
my heart bleeds for one like you
my heart beats my love is true.....


wheres your “agony” poem?

Atresac wrote: tuscan.... I’ve got to say....
that’s really fucking creepy.

Its PEDOTASTIC!

=/
whatever

Atresac wrote: tuscan.... I’ve got to say....
-=CONDENSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=-
that’s really fucking creepy.

It made me lol IRL.

Thanks i love you all too

wow

Where are the metas and multies? And storytelling?

“Death is inevitable... Welcome it as a friend, and it can’t be your enemy”
What I wouldn’t give to start over...

Real Talk/The Lyrical Bible

A Mixtape

Track Listing
1. Still Dyin'


Lyrics

1. Still Dyin'
[Jallal]
These children-stay-cryin cuz they villains-aint-dyin
And the superman can’t save em all, cuz sometimes he aint even lookin-or-tryin
In these pans of worldly hell, people are cookin-n-fryin
The third worlds, people don’t care bout the killin-n-violence
like Africa, niggaz can’t afford AK’s so they grip-the-machete
And in the 'hood, niggaz get pissed off and people get hit-with-the-semi
Like these kids-weren’t-ready, doin unspeakable-acts,
much worse than an underaged sip-of-the-henny
But I’m preachin-the-facts, keepin' my people-on-track,
No matter what they say cuz these evils-is-wack
What’s up with racism, and cats kickin the fake-rhythm?
Thinkin that we strapped with bombs and gon blow ya face in?
Tutsis-and-Hutus civil warrin for the government’s-power
People starvin-to-death, take up arms-'fore-they-rest,
and even the few graves they made aint covered-in-flowers

[Hook (female voice)]
The people still dyin', and the world still violent [(male voice) still sufferin']
Some aint tryin', and just sittin in silence [(male voice) still sufferin']
But some will care, some go there, [(male voice) still sufferin']
Some just sit and watch and stare [(male voice) still sufferin']

[Rogue] (me)
(Queens!)
(unh!) back in the day, I wasn’t likin-rap
The women degraded, I was like 'why aint they fightin-back?'
Why would you follow the hype-with-that?
And I was like 'who could like this? the writin’s-wack!'
I grew-up-in-Queens, so I could’ve blew-up-my-dreams
But I stopped myself, clocked myself though I knew-some-of them-fiends
While they pops preachin, moms teachin, they out in the streets dealin
Like if they knew of ya reasons, wouldn’t they both be weepin?
And it’s unforgivable, the unforgettable-violence
It’s too regrettable, the blue-and-red-devils'-sirens
I knew dealers, I knew killers and I knew buyers
I knew gangstas, knew wankstas, and was a liar
Ever since I got mugged, I’m 'packin' steel' like I’m 'back-in-the-foundry',   
(METAPHOR: a foundry is a place where you make metal parts, packin steel means carryin a knife) 
Gotta be careful cuz these kidsll sell you crack-in-their-brownies
And there’s always desperate-kids, reckless-and,
Wantin to jack-all-your-bounty, all over the back-of-the-county
And I know a guy whose cousin in the Ghost-Shadows
Got booked for shootin-at-Jin cuz of the mood-that-he-in when he choked-battles
Matter-of-fact, each of my best friends is a batter-at-bat
With two strikes, one more and we’re all blasted back-to-the-track
Ever since the Wendy’s-massacre, Flushing ain’t-been-the-same
It’s late-in-the-game, and I’m so hot I can taste-all-the-flames
So many people-died, it’s a shame, cuz even evil-cries
How you think the kid at Columbine didn’t hesitate to kill quick like eagle-dives?

[Hook]

[Jallal]
Yo, kids starvin in Africa [I’m sorry], can’t even afford insurance
On a car I can’t even buy [Ferrari] and no one offers assurance
And now in the 'hood, the world gettin' paranoid
All scared cuz they thinkin does he carry a glock
In his apartment, and is he carryin' rocks
In his glove compartment?
He packin? what’s that bulge in his pocket?
Is he gon start clappin? Is it a gat or does it fire rockets?
The fire starters, Them true terrorists, and liars, partner
Tryna get that haram money, they die in part for it
Unh! What’s wrong with society these days
If you move ya hand, they call SWAT, but still so many G’s slain
Kids gettin murdered and jacked, they aint turnin back
But worse kids doin it and caught in the act!
Now is history’s most tough times, and still,
I suck up rhymes like swallowin pills
This my vitamin, it can be your daily supplement
Centrum silver, cuz I resent you killers, and I wanna be done with this


2. Everytime We Touch Remix
[Cascada]
Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
Everytime we kiss i swear i can fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
I need you by my side
Cause everytime we touch

[Rogue] (me)
Baby it may not seem like I’m a man for sweet-talkin/
Gotta keep my feet-walkin, gotta keep my skillz to speak-awesome/
But ride with me, and I’ma give you a treat-often/
And we can be together to the day we see-coffins/
My style is heaven-sent, but it takes two-to-toy/
And nothing is equivalent to your moods-of-joy/
If you’re happy, so-am-I, if you’re down, I wanna be showin-my/
Concern-for-you, I’ll freeze or burn-for-you/
Cross the Sahara just to learn-from-you/
Girl, you’re my godess, perfection in-my-eyes/
I wanna hold you close, even if I have to win-you-twice/
We belong next to each other, like 3-and-4/
So just gimme a chance, I wanna show you what I keep-in-store/

[Cascada]
Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
Everytime we kiss i swear i can fly
Can’t you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last
I need you by my side
Cause everytime we touch...


3. Reminisce [Hate it or Love It instrumental]

It’s kinda hard to convey... how much I would come pay/
Just to see my home, even as little as that one-way/
Street on the corner of my block/
Where my house sat, the garage was the shop/
And we had the Javelin, sittin-on-blocks/
Bayside, Queens, we aint lickin-no-shots/
Just cruise around, goin everywhere I’ve got/
From Flushing to Southside, I miss the hood man/
I miss my homies from school, that’s my good fam/
Can’t wait to go back, yall cant hate on no rap/
That feelin, nah mean? Like when I grip the mic and flow fast/
Skipped school twice to fold stacks, trips made me right to hold mags/
Cuz after you experience the city, you can never fall back/
Take me out of my city? I aint ready for all that/
Just when I started gettin active and I started gettin at it/
Started hustlin, goin for mine, and tryin out this rap thing/
Elementary, I was at the top of the class/
But hit 6th grade and I started droppin way back/
Started hatin the world cuz I couldnt succeed/
Refused to puff weed, though I knew so many/
Who sipped the henny, and gripped the semis/
But I didnt wanna be like that, cuz its just too heavy/
Then 7th grade, moms got a job/
Dad got laid off, his work aint paid off, the cash flow stopped/
So he found a job in Cali and moved out to work/
I was left alone, at home to do my dirt/
But of course, with a mother too weak to stop me/
Why would I take care of my responsibilities?/
So I started failing every class/
Almost got expelled.. that’s how I trailed in every track/
But ridin the subways, every day through the snow, homie/
I still miss it, still love it, that stuff just grows on me/
Through the strike, through the snow..../
We NYC soldiers, never stoppin no!!/
Too many memories, man...
This goes out to all my homies... back home in my city man...
Anyone who ever had to leave a place they loved... just reminisce
i love you all, man.. peace....
Flushing, Bayside, Jamaica, Harlem, Woodside, ... 718, throw it up!!

“Death is inevitable... Welcome it as a friend, and it can’t be your enemy”
What I wouldn’t give to start over...

Rogue wrote: Where are the metas and multies? And storytelling?

Hmmm thats valid for rap and little else, with the exception of the storytelling.

Poems have stanzas, lines and verses.

Songs have lyrics, chorus’s rhythm and beat.

Each has their own points of construction.

If yo go looking for rap construction, you won’t find it in a poem or a typical song.