The Top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over:
20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
18. Aren’t you the guy from the village people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.
11. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Cop pulls a guy over and says: “You’re eyes look a little red have you been smoking?"
Guy: “No sir. You’re eyes look a little glossy have you been eating donuts?"
I was with some friends at a friend of mine’s house last summer. We were bored. So we decided to take a walk to the school close to his house to play some basketball. As was tradition(apparently) the two friends that used to attend that school kicked a bell that was in front of the school. Not even very hard. Just kinda tapped it. Next thing you know, I find myself being almost run over by some redneck cop who gets out and starts shouting profanities at us. He threatened to fine my friends for vandalizing public property (and some other bs reason that I can’t remember). He told us to get out of “his town”. Needless to say, I’ve cleaned this up a bit. He was quite offensive. In the end, my friend’s mom complained about the guy, and he had to apologize to my friend. Well, what can I say? We weren’t bored anymore!
ROFL DEAD DONUT.
print out that picture and then if you ever get arrested, show the cop that picture. he will cry and that gives you time to escappes. if he chases, threaten to destroy the local donut shop.
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I say that you carry a box of donuts with you everywhere, and if your ever pulled over be like. “so do you think THIS might change your mind about giving me a ticket?" And pull out a donut.
