I am writing a piece of autobiographical fiction fo a university assesment & want some feedback

deleted.

That’s very deep wolfy. Kind of confusing in some spots, and I could be wrong, but it looks like you changed point of view in the third paragraph, first sentence just a little bit. But, very good, very well thought and carried out.

That definitly has some potential dude. That is some disturbing stuff about the kid. Continue with this thing, I like it.

Tyreaus Dreacon wrote: That’s very deep wolfy. Kind of confusing in some spots, and I could be wrong, but it looks like you changed point of view in the third paragraph, first sentence just a little bit. But, very good, very well thought and carried out.

thank you ty.

will attempt to address the untidy paragraph 3.

firewolf81 wrote:

Tyreaus Dreacon wrote: That’s very deep wolfy. Kind of confusing in some spots, and I could be wrong, but it looks like you changed point of view in the third paragraph, first sentence just a little bit. But, very good, very well thought and carried out.

thank you ty.

will attempt to address the untidy paragraph 3.

Yeah, it’s late at night so I might have a second look at it tomorrow, but I think it’s very well executed; even if it is kind of confusing, it helps add onto it a lot, so don’t change that.
Though, you might want to switch the %u2019 codes to ', unless I’m the only one seeing it done that way. (has done that to me several times using notepad, actually)

Tyreaus Dreacon wrote:

firewolf81 wrote:

Tyreaus Dreacon wrote: That’s very deep wolfy. Kind of confusing in some spots, and I could be wrong, but it looks like you changed point of view in the third paragraph, first sentence just a little bit. But, very good, very well thought and carried out.

thank you ty.

will attempt to address the untidy paragraph 3.

Yeah, it’s late at night so I might have a second look at it tomorrow, but I think it’s very well executed; even if it is kind of confusing, it helps add onto it a lot, so don’t change that.
Though, you might want to switch the %u2019 codes to ', unless I’m the only one seeing it done that way. (has done that to me several times using notepad, actually)

yeah i don’t know why it replaced the ' with streams of code. i will fix it up soon.

Ok, fixed up the coding that got jumbled when I pasted it from word.
It should now read fluidly and coheriantly.

If anybody else could read it and give feedback c+c I would be greatly appreciative.

I didn’t read it but I’m sure it’s “touching”

LinkHeroOfTime wrote: I didn’t read it but I’m sure it’s “touching”

Not particulary constructive but thanks all the same.

Nobody else?

five minutes to deletion people.

I thank TY and count bleck for giving critique and comments on it and anybody else who gets in before it goes.

Thanks guys.

Very good FW

Shouldn’t this thread be locked? (Am I gettin good or what?)