It's not easy

I don’t know why I’m posting about this here, especially as a moderator, but I’m at the point where I can’t just not talk about it. There was another forum that I used to contribute to, but of late it has been...less than supportive.

For those of you who don’t already know I have something called PTSD. I’m not going to go into detail about what that is, but I just need to talk about how it’s affecting me at the moment and perhaps talk with people. I know I may also be opening myself up to remarks I’d rather not hear.

The last few months have not been good for me. The past few days I’ve been starting to feel like I simply can’t cope at all. I have 2 large essays due tomorrow that aren’t entirely finished, and I am struggling to try to get anything done on them. I could get support from my university, but it takes a lot of time and paperwork that I don’t really have the time for. I mistakenly assumed that because I could cope in undergrad that I could cope ok now.

I was watching a youtube vid about someone else’s experience and it really hit me. It has been 8 years of my life where I have never felt safe.

And none of that came out quite as I had meant it to...but I’m just going to leave it there for now.

Oh yes and in case anyone wonders after reading this...no I never make any major moderator decisions on “bad days”. In fact it’s been quite some time that I’ve felt precisely like this. But if I am snappy to anyone on here (as a member), I apologize in advance.

PTSD is brutal. I know people with it (the soldier variety).

I’m sure it’s not easy, my mother suffers from it..

But hopefully there’s something that can help you out?

Either way, I wish you the best of luck in dealing with it.

Thanks both of you . GN - yes I believe there is. I suppose one of the greatest barriers is time and possible cost. And, well, I keep telling myself I’m ok on my own. Which most of the time is true. It’s just times like this that it can feel like I simply don’t know what to do.

Just hang in there. You can make it.

Etain wrote: Thanks both of you . GN - yes I believe there is. I suppose one of the greatest barriers is time and possible cost. And, well, I keep telling myself I’m ok on my own. Which most of the time is true. It’s just times like this that it can feel like I simply don’t know what to do.

Just remember that it’ll all get better soon..

Keep your chin up.

Yeah I guess I should tell myself that it really is quite a feat to somehow *crosses fingers* hand in 2 essays totalling about 25 pages after having multiple panic attacks in the space of 48 hours. I desperately need sleep but am not sure how I am going to be able to get any.

My one prof was really nice. I just told her I wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t sure if I could make it to class and she said not to worry about it and hand in my (small) assignment for her later. I need more profs like that.

Lol.

People without PTSD would freak out about that. =P

Hell, I have breakdowns when I can’t find a matching sock.. <.<

Well, hopefully you could get some rest sometimes soon..

Going without sleep should never be necessary. x.x

Yeah the 2 essays is really the reason I’m not holding it together. :/

And it’s kind of funny..I’m supposed to have a “mild” case. Days like this I always wonder how those who are even worse can even ever function.

I’m not even completely sure what PTSD is... but I do wish you all the luck I can give Etain. And, I’m a big believer that talking about your problems with somebody always helps, so if you need somebody to listen, just message me. lol

But I’m sure everything will turn out for the best.

Rise of Shinra

I’ve explained my current emotional status to Becky already, so I’ll spare you all the torture.

Maggot Face wrote: I’ve explained my current emotional status to Becky already, so I’ll spare you all the torture.

If you need to talk about how you’re feeling, I really don’t mind at all.

Etain wrote:

Maggot Face wrote: I’ve explained my current emotional status to Becky already, so I’ll spare you all the torture.

If you need to talk about how you’re feeling, I really don’t mind at all.

I appreciate it, but I’m actually off to sleep now. Maybe if I’m still feeling the same tomorrow I’ll let you know.

Goodnight Maggot, I hope it all goes well for you too.

Rise of Shinra

Thanks for listening guys. Oddly enough it has helped me feel a bit better, even if it hasn’t gotten my essays finished for me lol.

I just realized I’m a little hungry, so going to grab something to eat and try to finish up here...

Alright.

I wish you the best of luck, Etain..

and try not to over work yourself to much.

Good luck, [cornyline]and may the force be with you.[/cornyline]

Rise of Shinra

i really know what you mean etain,,i have been like that for years now,,,,i have drank myself to the state of puking last nigh strong stuff too (gin) yuck,,,i think ill still be drunk all day!!!!!!




TODAY IS THE DAY I WILL FIND OUT IF THE GOVERNMENT ARE GOING TO TAKE MY CHILD AWAY FROM ME,,,AND I AM SCARED AS HELLL,,I AM SHAKING SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!! MIGHT BE THE BOOS TOO

I was always a very strong person,,i have been though things in my life that i have never though i could,,,,,but this i don’t think i can live through this if they do this to me**cryes** sorry etain this sure didn’t help you any,,,

but i do know what you mean,,,i have had this panic disorder for a wile now,,even when the school calls me to go there cause my son hasn’t been wanting to work,,i get all shaky,,,just the though of meeting people that think they know you and having them stare down at you,,,,anyway thats my story

There are two ways of meeting difficulties. You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them.

i have a question for you it may seem like a joke but its not, more just curiosity and you don’t have to answer it if don’t want to

Do you like see hallucinations of this traumatic event?

Like cid I have no idea what PTSD is. It dosent sond to good a thing to have.

All I can do is wish you the best and hope avery thing works out good for you. Things have a way of working out you know

mimi am really sorry to hear there still on your case like that You know am willing to lessen any time you like. Your msn is set to away right know. I hope all catch you latter.

keep strong mimi and Etain and things well hopefully work out good for the both of you.