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Homestuck Review - It sucks ass

#1
01-22-2011 12:48 PM
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Monster Cock
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Home Stuck

So many wrongs with this abomination that words almost fail to describe it. But since we don’t speak Yiff like Andrass does, it seems we’ll have to try.

Act 1

The Plot is an absolute fucking disaster. You start out hundreds of pages dicking around with John’s boring ass shit. Then later stuff happens and then OMG somehow a meteor comes and now the world’s gonna die and stuff. However nobody cares really because no one really fucking cares about anything. No seriously, when the Apocalypse is upon them, all of them act so little human that you’d think they are nothing more than shitty written plot devices, but surprise fuck face, they pretty much are. A bunch of Imps come to rape John, but he fends them off with Gushers and a Bunny. Wha?

Act 2

A bunch of shit happens, pretty much like the above. Yep.

Act 3

Same as above. Oh yeah, Dave, some shit as tough guy gets raped by a bunch of puppets I guess. But it’s ok, because he enjoys it. Rump Rape is a customary practice for the Strider household.

Act 4

Pretty boring ass, but some more shit happens. John enters the MEdiUUM, which is code for a mangina. (no seriously, wat?) He enters it and proceeds to have sex with all of the locals. Later he gets killed by a blind-girl,which would have been funnier if it’d been shown, or if Dave Suckdick didn’t revive him through his Time-shit fucking. And how he somehow obtained time travel is beyond the scope of our feeble minds. Really Hussass?

Later it’s revealed that John is a fuck-clone of himself and his friends made with his genetic semen or some shit. But considering incest was pretty legal in MSPA in all, no need to elaborate on this.

Act 5

HiveBent? What HiveBent? I see no HiveBent. Let’s keep it that way. Cripples and all left out.

The Rest

A bunch of other shit happens after that, but it’s all mostly shit. The most recent development showed that the final boss to fuck in this game of over-sexed sex toys is a furry with a fetish for blood and shades. But no one gives a shit about that.

The characters cannot talk or interact in person because they are obviously retarded and quit. Everybody.


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#2
01-22-2011 12:51 PM
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The characters

John Gay, ass kid who likes gushers and has a fetish for old woman, notably ones that lead to incest. Has no intersting personality and shouldn’t be cared for.

Dave, A wannabee animu like his Bro, he has a thing for puppets and fake ass swords. Thinks he’s a legit ninja, despite the fact that he gets ganked mercilessly by a cripple and killed once by some fodder nigra. He wanted to do himself, but due to a lack of puppet clothing he absorbed from doing so and threw the corpse away.

Rose, An emo know-it-all bitch who is ugly and you will want to punch. As recently upgraded from emo bitch to psycho witch, considering she’d happily watch a furry unleash genocide on a planet while masturbating to the screams of the eldergods.

Jade Furry, cosplayer, precognitive, and boring as hell. No one cares about this bitch, moving on.

The Guardians, Two shitty neglectful parents to busy fucking each other, a furry with the powers, and an animu nerd who thinks he’s all awesome only to go get murdered by god-bitch with an inferiority complex.

Jack Some, asswipe in a legal department that fucked a queen with a bunny, took her jewelery, and went on to kill a bunch of shit that nobody cares about. This included Jade’s subconscious manifestation, the Nigra queen, a bunch of peasants, time-traveling bird boy, and Kamina wannabe. Eventually becomes a furry like he always dreamed when Bic the penis-terrier prototyped. As if the dick and rape tentacles sticking out of him already weren’t enough.

Everybody Else, Well that pretty much sums Homestucks diverse cast of characters. There are also the sand-nigras, but they’ll die of crab-dick soon enough.


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#3
01-22-2011 12:53 PM
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Acrius Reborn
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Dd likes it


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~Dark Nectar~ Velcross of Life

#4
01-22-2011 12:55 PM
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AfterGlowZ
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I have no idea what Homestuck is, but it sounds like a true masterpiece :P


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#5
01-22-2011 12:58 PM
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open rulez wrote: Dd likes it


Yeah, but then again Dd is diagnosed with autism.


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#6
01-22-2011 01:00 PM
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Acrius Reborn
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Shisui wrote:

open rulez wrote: Dd likes it


Yeah, but then again Dd is diagnosed with autism.

yeah we all know not to mention hes a pedo


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~Dark Nectar~ Velcross of Life

#7
01-22-2011 01:04 PM
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Homosuck is shit.


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#8
04-13-2011 07:59 PM
413
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Homestuck is fucking amazing.

#9
04-13-2011 08:05 PM
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IcySoul
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413 wrote: Homestuck is fucking amazing.



You bumped this... Why?

#10
04-13-2011 09:24 PM
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Krystopher Malus
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you sure do take it seriously


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I’m in hell

Edited 04-13-2011 09:31 PM by Krystopher Malus
#11
05-15-2011 07:10 PM
homestuck_luvr
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wow fuk u guys i luv homestuck

#12
06-04-2011 12:56 PM
someguy
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This thread doesn’t really present much of an argument. Saying “it sucks shit” doesn’t really tell me much of anything. I’ve seen negative reviews of things I like where I could really understand why the reviewer disliked that work, and I gained a deeper understanding of the work in question and its flaws. I can’t even tell if this review is serious or not.

“The Plot is an absolute fucking disaster. You start out hundreds of pages dicking around with John’s boring ass shit. Then later stuff happens and then OMG somehow a meteor comes and now the world’s gonna die and stuff. However nobody cares really because no one really fucking cares about anything. No seriously, when the Apocalypse is upon them, all of them act so little human that you’d think they are nothing more than shitty written plot devices, but surprise fuck face, they pretty much are. A bunch of Imps come to rape John, but he fends them off with Gushers and a Bunny. Wha?"

This paragraph comes the closest to a decent criticism of Homestuck. The early parts especially are very aimless meandering (though that can partially be put down to the fact that reader suggestions were still being incorporated at that point), and the later parts have pacing issues when it comes to dealing with the large cast.

#13
06-04-2011 02:10 PM
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Wade Wilson
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1. The first post was from ED.
2. HoMeStUcK iS fUcKiNg AwEsOmE. hOnK. :0)


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Sigs by Cid.

#14
07-07-2011 09:31 PM
guest 2
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I agree with you, homestuck sucks nigga balls

#15
07-12-2011 01:34 AM
Guest 2
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That stupid-ass webcomic Homestuck is for people getting into trolling as they like to troll people which trolls sucks nigga balls too

#16
07-12-2011 01:37 AM
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Amarrez
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What an amazing thread.


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#17
07-12-2011 01:39 AM
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Stridah
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PS3KICKS360 wrote: What an amazing thread.



Now you done fucked up. You have FUCKED up.


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#18
07-12-2011 01:41 AM
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Amarrez
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Stridah wrote:

PS3KICKS360 wrote: What an amazing thread.



Now you done fucked up. You have FUCKED up.



What did I do that was so TERRIBLE, Strider


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#19
07-12-2011 01:52 AM
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Red_Calibur9
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Homestuck was cool.


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#20
07-21-2011 07:11 PM
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Anyone who has read that webcomic is a troll fag bitch that gets fucked by satan

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