“In May of last year, the worst conservative fears had come true -- our president announced that he didn’t care if gay people got married. You or I might call that apathy, or maybe basic human decency. Fox News, of course, called it a War on Marriage. Brave husbands around the nation took one last look at their wives before devouring one another’s defeated yet eager penises. The straights had lost the war, and with it their right to an uncocked mouth. “I never knew unconditional surrender could feel so good," the straight husband said through frothy lips still moist from their first bite of dick. His words were given only a whisper of a response. .. the heterosexual husband tongue probing his butthole remained as silent as a garden slug." -Seanbaby: Roundhousing funny straight into your throat.