Like, how could i forget?
Dafty, anyway how are things.
I have no idea if life has got better for me, i thought it had but things are just so damn difficult!
yeah, but know i try to think life has it’s ups and downs, but come on, a downer can’t last for this long can it.
Then i think, well hannah your the only one who can change it, so i try to, but no matter what i do everything comes flying back at me ten times worse.
You know what I went through and I am here fighting. The downers can last a long time that is what pushed me to you know what. Don’t try to do it all on your own get help from friends. Real friends.
That would be easy if i had any real friends.
I’ve got one, but she would flip if i said anything about scuicide to her, and she keeps telling me i choose to be like this. Sure i do. She doesn’t know. Her family are so perfect, like, together. I thought we had so much in comman, but now i realise how diffenet we are.
Thanks.
But you know it’s hard to keep up with your thoughts when you are trying to tell yourself you’ll be ok, then one minute you think whats the use in all this? And other people are telling you who you should be and it just makes my want to pull my owm hair out. Friends are suppose to help and support you, not be against you.
I just thought, until the last time i spoke to you which was donkeys ago, you had no idea i was like this did you? Strange, how you can pretend to be someone you are not for so long.
Stop pretending to be what others want you to be. True friends will accept you for the way you are and be willing to help.
So you have been thinking about suicide. I have those thoughts every day but I fight them. Why I don’t know. Maybe because I have hope things will get better.
I have been doing things for me and not always trying to please others. It is helping.