| 18 Jun 2006 04:45 am |
jokester345 Guest | please post ANY joke you know here | |
|
| 18 Jun 2006 04:51 am |
jokester345 Guest | superman is flying through the city and he sees wonder woman on a roof on her hands and knees naked, super man says"man i would like to fuck her” than he realizez hes superman he is faster than a speeding bullet he could fly down there fuck her ass and cum before she knew what was going on so he speeds down fucks her ass and cums in under a second wonder woman looks up and says what the fuck was that? the invisibal man goes i dont know but my asshole is killing me! | |
| 18 Jun 2006 04:58 am |
jokester345 Guest | This little boy woke up three nights in a row because he kept hearing thumping noises coming from his parent’s room. He finally approached his mom and said, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in, you’re bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh...well, I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that makes him thin again."
The boy says, “That won’t work."
His mom asks, “Why?"
The boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!" | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:01 am |
jokester345 Guest | A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, however, the wife wasn’t having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.
As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and smiled. “Jeeves," she said. “Take off my dress. "
He did this carefully.
“Jeeves," she continued. “Take off my stockings and garter."
He silently obeyed her.
“Jeeves," she then said. “Remove my bra and panties. "
As he did this, the tension continued to mount.
She then said, “Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you’re fired | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:03 am |
jokester345 Guest | What do the 54,000 women who are abused every year have in common?
“They don’t fucking listen." | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:16 am |
jokester345 Guest | A blonde steps into an elevator, smiles at the man already on, and says," T-G-I-F."
The man smiles and says," S-H-I-T."
The blonde smiles back and replies," T-G-I-F."
The man again smiles and says," S-H-I-T."
The blonde looks confused. She answers the man, and says, “Thank goodness its Friday."
The man smiles and replies, “Sorry honey, its Thursday." | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:18 am |
jokester345 Guest | A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed she left work early.
One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they’d leave right behind her. Afterall, she never called or came back, so how was she to know!? The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she was with them. “NO WAY," she exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!" | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:21 am |
jokester345 Guest | Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can’t see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. “Honey," she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis... fifty times!" | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:30 am |
jokester345 Guest | What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you. | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:33 am |
jokester345 Guest | Why are men more intelligent during sex?
Because they are plugged into a genius! | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:36 am |
jokester345 Guest | theres a guy and a girl and they’re having sex. but some how the condom falls out the window. meanwhile, little timmy is walking by and finds it. as he picks it up, the man asks him for it back. timmy asks what it is and the man said it was a hoho.
so the boy runs back home and tells his mom what happened.
“mommy, mommy
i gave a man back his ho-ho! but i ripped him off. i already sucked the filling out." | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:38 am |
jokester345 Guest | why can’t black people swim?
cus shit dont float
why are black people afraid of chain saws?
cus when u rev them up, they say
“run-nigga-nigga-nigga-nigga”
what do u call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
a box of crackers.
what do u call a bunch of mexicans in a swimming pool?
bean dip. | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:39 am |
jokester345 Guest | once i had horse... then i ate it | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:40 am |
jokester345 Guest | Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: Lift up your nuts this is gonna be one hell of a blow job | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:43 am |
jokester345 Guest | Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?
A: Bingo! | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:44 am |
jokester345 Guest | Q:Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A:You can unscrew a lightbulb | |
| 18 Jun 2006 05:46 am |
jokester345 Guest | Q: What did the egg say to the hot water?
A: It might take me a while to get hard because i just got laid! | |
| 18 Jun 2006 08:36 am |
bonjour Rep: 3  Joined: 25 Aug 2005 Posts: 8,307 OFFLINE | .....I don’t know why but joke topics never last ---
 | |
| 18 Jun 2006 09:49 am |
|
| 18 Jun 2006 03:09 pm |
jokester345 Guest | _lashing_ wrote:
One thing is for sure, it isn’t going to last in the Games Section.
*Moved*
ok first thing nobody cairs about what yo think ok???.......and secont thing ?..... is thes jokes r funner than you will ever be?? git it got it ...good | |
|
|
Post Reply - Next Page |
»
Off-Topic
» jokes(all jokes acepted)
