Facts about Chuck Norris

go awai
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In the begining there was nothing...
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face and told it to get a job.
And thus, the universe was created.

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CHUCK NORRIS VS INDIANA JONES

Jones was about to pull out a gun
But then Norris said “this isn’t fun”
So he kicked Jones in the balls
and Jones crys and falls

And that’s how Chuck Norris Won.

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Cuck Norris knows the secret to world peace, he just thinks it’s fun to kill people.

Chuck Norris doesn’t shave, he just round house kicks himself in the face because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

bonjour
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....I don’t like chuck no- *round house kicked* MY NOSE!!!

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Ohhh this is an awesome thread.


Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It’s called Chuck-Will-Kill.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

For some men, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

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ROFL I’m crying and I have a cramp, now my stomach hurts.Lol

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies, he potato sac’s them.

This should be stickied.

Last edited 03 Jul 2006 03:30 am by Duriel

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Chuck Norris once ordered a Bigmac from Burger King — and got one!

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Hahaha this is turning into my favourite topic!

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he’d kick your ass.

The USA did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons, Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not.

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

“Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.

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good ol chuck

go awai
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Who Dares Wins
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That is bull no one can kill chuck

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It takes an Amish town a day to raise a barn, it takes chuck norris less than a minute to kick over the barn and impregnate the towns women.

Introduce your mother to Chuck Norris and she’ll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris has raped many girls, but none of them have been reported, because rape implies that you dont want it to happen.

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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the original Mortal Kombat game, but when the game was completed the developer noticed a glitch, no matter which button you pressed when playing as Chuck Norris he would do a roun house kick and instantly kill the opponent. When they asked Chuck about the glitch he responded with “that isn’t a glitch”

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin, undernethe the facial hair is a third fist.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have Nightmares, Nightmares have Chuck Norris

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

“Brokeback Mountain” is not just a movie. It’s also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

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Hahahaha, keep those facts about Chuck Norris rolling in guys.

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Chuck Norris wins.

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Are we running out of Chuck Norris facts?