Facts about Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck





























































































covered in human skulls...

Last edited 11 Jul 2006 09:21 pm by Weeman

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Chuck Norris once ate a sofa and crapped out a loveseat and an armchair.

The two 'atomic bombs' dropped on Japan in World War Two were actually two small parts of Chuck Norris' left testicle, which he graciously donated to defeat Hitler and the Axis powers in 1943. Since then he has regenerated said testicle, and in the process made Tim McGraw a bigger douche.

Chuck Norris wears custom made boots with his name imprinted on the bottom. The reason being is so if anyone ever asks him for his autograph, they will get it permanently across the side of their face.

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lol

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Chuck Norris once took over a small town in Guam, thus naming himself King Norris. His only law was that if someone looked at him the wrong way there would be a public execution. The offender would then have the choice of execution, either a kick to the head, or a blow from the fist to the neck. The town lasted three days.

Chuck Norris ended the Never-ending Story...because Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in reading.

Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

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lmao

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Why are the fonts so big?

MVC's Long Forgotten
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wtf are u talkin about

lol Mr. T and Chuck Norris

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*coughs*idiot*chokes*
water......

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Haha. It was my text size. It’s weird though, I didn’t even change it.

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Dude the only thing I know about Chuck Norris is that he was on DODGEBALL .. lol thats it

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lol, dodgeball.... thats a funny movie.

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Most people thought Ernest Hemingway committed suicide because he was a troubled genius despondent over the mediocrity of life. What actually happened was that Chuck Norris finally tracked him down and gave him two options: shotgun blast to the head or roundhouse kick. Hemingway took the easy way out.

If you are ever in a time of trouble just think “What would Chuck Norris do?" The answers seems to magically come to you. It’s 98% affective, but the other 2% are the people who don’t believe Chuck Norris. They learn their lesson in the end. Chuck makes sure.

Chuck Norris once hit a deer with his car. He then promptly put the car back on the ground and continued driving.

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lol

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Am I the only one posting “facts” anymore?

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We are living in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris peed in the ocean.

182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him “a promising Rookie”.

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

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(lol)

Those were great.

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haha

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Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

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Chuck Norris is shit comapred to MacGyver. MacGyver can make a 10-megaton atom bomb from nothing but a Sony Walkman, 5 ft. of duct tape, 4 toothpicks, and 1 pound of plutonium. Not to mention, it was MacGyver that made the universe in 7 days, not God. God didn’t have the mateirals nessicary for it, only 2 toothpicks, 4 paperclips, a drinking straw, and a sodacan. This query led to MacGyver doing the work and that my friends, is what the universe is made of.



Worship him accordingly.