Facts about Chuck Norris

Corrupted...
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(lol)

So true.

Here comes another VS. topic...

Last edited 15 Jul 2006 06:43 pm by SA-X

go awai
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lol everyone knows Chuck Norris created the universe.
The story of the universes creation:

In the begining...there was nothing...Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face and told it to get a job.
And thus, the universe was created.

That's 8 O's by the way
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He roundhouse kicks everything to the face.

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DONT POINT AT CHUCK NORRIS!!!! YOU MITE GET ROUNDHOUSE KICKED!!!!!!!

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....lol

Going Sentimental
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

Count from one to ten. That’s how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be “Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels

The Other Name

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Chuck Norris can out-fly any helicopter by continuosly roundhouse kicking into the air.




(I made that one up)

Nyarlathotep
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lol

Chuck Norris uses the Empire State Building as a toothpick

I made that up^

The Pope preys to Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice, but Chuck Norris does

Chuck Norris used to eat nothing but habanero peppers with tabasco sauce for dinner until one day those pussy peppers gave him frostbite. He now eats molten lava breakfast, lunch and dinner. Asian babies for dessert.

Chuck Norris' favorite color is cold blood.

It has been said that using only a shoelace, three coconuts and a wedge of cheese, McGuyver can bring forth the apocalypse.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California, Chuck Norris is the default Master of the Universe

Chuck Norris once purchased a home at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean and made it his permanent residence for two months to prove that he only breathes because he “feels like it."

Each individual hair in Chuck Norris' beard, has a beard of it’s own.

Last edited 19 Jul 2006 03:30 am by ChaosSpartan

Nyarlathotep
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Medusa.

When Chuck Norris takes a leak, a rainbow appears.

As legend would have it, just like his trusty Dodge Ram, Chuck is also powered by a 5.7L V8 hemi engine.

Chuck Norris is so ahead of his time thats his parents havent even met yet.

The only person to ever beat Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors was a mexican astronaut that went by the alias “Edguardo the Magnificent”.

Master Chief is Chuck Norris in disgiuse
Some people are just tough, rugged badasses at heart, but not Chuck Norris. Chuck knows that hearts are for pussies.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

The Other Name

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Gay men are a result of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick to the balls.

Chuck Norris can beat his own reflection at a staring contest.


(I made those two up)

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself at the back of the head at the same time.

Nyarlathotep
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Sgt. Johnson from Halo2 is Chuck Norris if he were black. (hence the fact that Johnson can’t die)

The SpecOps commander is Chuck Norris from an alternate universe.

Nyarlathotep
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Chuck Norris' beard is made of fiber wire.

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CHUCK NORRIS USES SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS FOR HIS SPONGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nyarlathotep
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lol

Chuck Norris has seen Samus Aran naked.

MVC's Long Forgotten
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lol johnson





Now that would have to be good

Last edited 19 Jul 2006 11:04 am by Red Spartan 226

Nyarlathotep
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Its sucha glorious sight, that the average man would go blind from it!

MVC's Long Forgotten
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foreal

nice ass
nice tits
nice everything

Nyarlathotep
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Not nice, perfect. Lots of girls are “nice”. But their are few that are perfect, and they’re marrried to old guys!

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chuck norris doesnt need a total gym, the total gym needs chick norris.

chuck norris is so fast a headache is chuck norris hitting you in the head

chuck norris doesnt walk forward, he moves the earth under his feet.

chuck norris kicked the earth and its still spinning.


Crazy bannana was here

Last edited 19 Jul 2006 02:02 pm by Mariomaniac

Nyarlathotep
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One day Chuck Norris decided to light a fart, thus we have the sun.