The Red dragon likes sports, particularly soccer and often has a subscription to a cable network to keep track of its favourite teams. Red dragons like to make bets and can often find themselves in hock to unsavoury characters after making bets that they cannot cover. Rumours indicate that it was a Red dragon who ate Jimmy Hoffa after becoming indebted to a powerful mafioso. The Red dragon’s breath-weapon causes acute embarrassment. Victims are often deluded into thinking they are stark naked in front of their colleagues and associates. They are also huge fans of Hannibal Lecter.
Green
Green dragons have a great affection for gardening and can often be found puttering around in the garden on a weekend with only the occasional cow as a snack. The Green dragon’s breath-weapon causes intense jealousy, so much, in fact, that it causes the victim to settle into a state of self-pitying hatred as they look to their own life in disdain and wonder why they couldn’t have had the big house in Malibu, and why they couldn’t drive a nice car, and why they are forced to work non-stop for the man while everyone else enjoys themselves with their fancy $300 wine and yacht clubs, and he has five kids that are all frikkin' assholes and a wife that won’t stop nagging him and he can’t take it anymore and just has to kill himself END IT! because his life is so worthless!. Green dragons are also very picky about grammar and absolutely hate run-on sentences.
Blue
The Blue dragon enjoys listening to emo and prefers to live in dark caves with a solitary blue lightbulb. Their breath-weapon causes intense despondency and often causes victims to hang out in seedy bars discussing the relative merits of Charlie Parker and Satchmo, and exchanging bad poetry. Distant relative of Eeyore, Blue dragons should not be confused with their larger cousins the dragon fly.
Gold
Gold dragons are very parental and like to remind everyone how “It used to be all fields round here”. Golds are fond of small knick-knacks and bric-a-brac and often find themselves watching Antiques Roadshow to pass the time and assess their wealth. A Gold dragon’s breath-weapon is terrible to behold as it reminds its listener that it really ought to get in touch with mum again and that you didn’t thank auntie Vera for the book tokens you got last Christmas.
Silver
Silver dragons are like those neighbors across the street that you don’t really like but are always inviting you over and saying “Howdy neighbor!" while watering their perfectly-cut lawn whenever you step out into your frontyard littered with dead grass and old peanut butter cup wrappers. There are alike in that they both secretly hold Satanic rituals and Roman-style orgies in their den whenever the schedule doesn’t call for a modestly arrogant invitation of unworthy neighbors to barbecues that everyone enjoys except that one guy who only came because his wife forced him to, but in secret, he really hates them. Silver dragons also like watching the Food Network for tips on cooking that they think they’ll use, but really never will. Recent evidence has also proven that silver dragons are fatal to werewolves.
Yellow
Yellow dragons often attempt to pass themselves off as Gold dragons, but no one is fooled; of course no one wants to mention it because it would be rude, not to mention awkward and potentially dangerous if ever the yellow dragon decides to employ his breath-weapon on his fellow dragons out of rage. For the yellow dragon’s breath has the power to not only cause extreme cowardice, but also a complete lack of interest in everything from tending to a garden to making sweet dragon-love.
White
Usually a White dragon will find its home in cold climates so that it can be as far away from its natural enemy, the Emu, as is dragonly possible. White dragons and Emus have been at war for millennia and only the oldest of the species can recall the reason for the enmity. A long-lived and accurate stereotype of White dragons is that they cannot jump, and this is true, for if ever a White dragon is challenged to a jumping contest, they will immediately kill the other contender in an attempt to hide their shortcomings. White dragons are also known to have quite an addiction to sugar, causing them to stay up late, go hyperactive, and generally go completly random and Bat Fuck Insane, thereby writing the majority of the articles on Uncyclopedia. For the same reason, their breath-weapon has the ability to neutralize the effects of Ritalin and cause the victim to go Bat Fuck Insane as well.
African-American
Once known as the Black dragon, the African-American dragon has embraced the modern world , and changed their name for respect and political correctness. Its breath-weapon is the searing noise of phat beats and hard rhymes; listeners immediately begin to throw shapes and adopt cool poses. African-American dragons have once again been subject to controversy after it was revealed that they are almost single-handedly responsible for whigga culture, as well as the spread of the grillz epidemic..
Ultraviolet
Invisible to the human eye, these tiny dragons like to play pranks, such as putting your keys and other small, irreplacible items in obscure places. Cats can often be found conversing with them in the silent language of the angels, swapping recipes, discussing literature, and generally talking about things which other dragons would simply find boring, leading ultraviolet dragons to be shunned from mainstream dragon society. They’re susceptible to heat, which is why exterminators employ infrared dragons to cure ultraviolet dragon infestations. This has led to the belief that infrared and ultraviolet dragons are natural enemies, which has no foundation in reality.
Their breath weapon causes cancer.
Chinese
Chinese dragons have no legs and no wings, this means that whilst flying they look like majestic worms of the sky, much like Lindsay Lohan looks like a majestic worm of the ground until she quickly unhinges her jaw to swallow scores of unsuspecting guests to her movie premieres while they slowly digest in her four-chambered stomach. When on the ground, Chinese dragons deploy twenty-four legs for balance that unhinge from one of its six phannie packs strapped to the underside of its body. Chinese dragons like drum and bass, fish, dancing, and long walks by the beach. Chinese dragons do not have a breath-weapon but generally have really nice eyelashes which they flutter whilst dancing, stealing the female dragons away from their boyfriends who refuse to dance because they “have a reputation to keep', which would inevitably be destroyed once the Chinese dragon kicks his ass upon being challenged for the female dragon’s affection.
Chinese Dragon in ground-mode. See that the feet have been deployed and it has slipped some nice brogues on for comfort.
V1R7ua1 DrAg0n5
Very odd type of dragon that exists only inside cyberspace, the Virtual Dragons allied with the Cyber Ninjas to defeat Oprah. They usually look a bit like short Chinese dragons with permanently deployed legs, though they retain their unique pale skin, a direct cause of sitting by the computer all day gazing at page after page of mind-numbing websites while getting absolutely no sun and no life. Their breath weapon manifests as floating bits of phlegmatic-looking binary which causes targets to become infected with spam, pop-ups, and penis-enhancing advertisements.
Platinum Dragons
Unlike most dragons, the Platinum dragon is considered the royalty of dragon-kind. Only one is ever alive at one time. Whichever one is alive at the time is considered the King or Queen of dragons. The current King of dragons is know as Bahamut and has a very bad temper though is normally a nice guy. Unlike other monarchies, Platinum dragons are not born into royalty, but rather go platinum whenever they kill at least a million cows, farmers, or war-bent emperors.
Pink Dragons
Pink dragons are super-fun, super-sassy, and super-fabulous! All pink Dragons are males, which is a problem because same-sex marriage is still illegal in the Dragon Kingdom, and few Pink dragons wish to settle for those other savages, despite the utter sexiness of the female Green dragon. But of course, Pink dragons are people, too, and as such, they must be allowed to follow their hearts no, for God’s sake, don’t use that. That was cornier than Oprah’s toilet after the 4th of July.
The Pink dragon’s breath power turns male dragons totally FABULOUS!! And it makes female dragons get season passes for the Pink dragon’s show on Bravo.
Chromatic Dragons
The Chromatic dragons were created when MC Nefarian, an African American dragon and rap star/part time mad scientist who wants to take over the world, spliced the genes of the African American, Red, Blue, Green, and Gold dragons together. They were created to refill the ranks of Nefarians rapidly shrinking posse, so he could both defeat rival rap star/part time mad scientist who wants to take over the world Ragnawroz, and take over the world. Their existance has, for the longest time, been kept secret by Nefarian’s agent/co-conspirator Rend “Warchief” Blackhand. However, starting in 2004, people started finding out about the existance of the Chromatic dragons. Usually, said people find out about the Chromatic dragons while in groups of 10.
is there a dragon that just flys around all day and takes dumps on peoples heads? hah if so i own
--- *To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being. -John Lubbock* Music defines my life *
Charmed-Butterflys wrote:
is there a dragon that just flys around all day and takes dumps on peoples heads? hah if so i own
hah oh yes that would be the best dragon ever .. andre add that to you list .. it shall be called .
the dumpy dragon
hhahaha ohhh!
--- *To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being. -John Lubbock* Music defines my life *
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