This is Spartan 117 wrote:
According to Collins dictionary, a fact is a truth that can be proved through experience or observation. The thing about facts is that you have to know that it is true, and not something that you just made up in the last two seconds.
So if we use *your* definition of a “fact” then you could say that you shit diamonds out of a platinum ass and call that a “fact." Get your “facts” right.
ninja’s = concentrated beings of asiannes. asians fly easily, and shoot lazer beams out of their eyes, and have natural amazing martial arts skills.
Ummm...no they can’t. They’re just stealthy guys with ninja weapons.
Pirates are uber awsome guys with guns, swords, cannons, ships, booty, booze, pirate ships, parrots, more booze, hook hands, ect...
ninja’s = concentrated beings of asiannes. asians fly easily, and shoot lazer beams out of their eyes, and have natural amazing martial arts skills.
Ummm...no they can’t. They’re just stealthy guys with ninja weapons.
Pirates are uber awsome guys with guns, swords, cannons, ships, booty, booze, pirate ships, parrots, more booze, hook hands, ect...
ninja’s = concentrated beings of asiannes. asians fly easily, and shoot lazer beams out of their eyes, and have natural amazing martial arts skills.
Ummm...no they can’t. They’re just stealthy guys with ninja weapons.
Pirates are uber awsome guys with guns, swords, cannons, ships, booty, booze, pirate ships, parrots, more booze, hook hands, ect...
"Ninja Zool. Japaneseus cut-throatius assassinus (pl. ninja) is the common Japanese term for a group of intentionally badass martial artists with a complete dominion over all things totally sweet who specialize in killing people, flying, and burger/pizza/magazine delivery, which they do 24/7, and have also been known to mysteriously show up several hours before the burger/pizza/magazine was even ordered, with your condiments. The physical possibility of this is proven by the Uncertainty Principle. ...
Ninja are also known for their 1337 skills, their knowledge of quilting history, their total disrespect for authority, their ability to fly, their ability to totally FLIP OUT and cut people’s heads off, and the ability to retract their testicles for defensive purposes, even when they aren’t cold, all displayed and explained in their book “1337 ways to annihilate pirates”. Ninja are not animals however, (although they may transform into one if they’re feeling particularly badass), in that they do provide receipts for assassinations. Of course, due to their temporal 1337 skills sometimes they may give the receipt before the assassination; so if you ever find a small black piece of paper in your pocket, then duck!
Considered an extreme threat, ninja have a small, yet awesome population.
Remember:Real Ninjas can not be seen. If you can see your killer then obviously he is a masked Assassin, not a Ninja."
need i continue quote the best source of all time?
kev360 wrote:
“Ninja Zool. Japaneseus cut-throatius assassinus (pl. ninja) is the common Japanese term for a group of intentionally badass martial artists with a complete dominion over all things totally sweet who specialize in killing people, flying, and burger/pizza/magazine delivery, which they do 24/7, and have also been known to mysteriously show up several hours before the burger/pizza/magazine was even ordered, with your condiments. The physical possibility of this is proven by the Uncertainty Principle. ...
Ninja are also known for their 1337 skills, their knowledge of quilting history, their total disrespect for authority, their ability to fly, their ability to totally FLIP OUT and cut people’s heads off, and the ability to retract their testicles for defensive purposes, even when they aren’t cold, all displayed and explained in their book “1337 ways to annihilate pirates”. Ninja are not animals however, (although they may transform into one if they’re feeling particularly badass), in that they do provide receipts for assassinations. Of course, due to their temporal 1337 skills sometimes they may give the receipt before the assassination; so if you ever find a small black piece of paper in your pocket, then duck!
Considered an extreme threat, ninja have a small, yet awesome population.
Remember:Real Ninjas can not be seen. If you can see your killer then obviously he is a masked Assassin, not a Ninja."
need i continue quote the best source of all time?
" First, do not panic. Ninja are able to sense panic and will home in on it, just like dogs, or bees, or William Shatner.
Second, don’t get bitten. If a ninja bites you, you will become one at every full moon. Actually, that may be a myth, but you still don’t want to get bitten, since that’s a good way to get an infection.
Third, Ninjas are NOT intimidated by pirates!. Idressing up as a pirate in an attempt to intimidate a ninja may have the same effect on oyur body as a blender does on mince meat.
Do not ask, “Who’s there?...", because the answer comes with a swift shuriken to the forehead.
Don’t get in a car and drive off, because the ninja will probably jump on the car and try to stab you through the ceiling with his sword. Besides, the ninja would already have placed caltrops in front of the tires. Incidentally, ninjas have an uncanny ability to plan for their foes every move. This could result from some kind of mystical ninja psychic ability. Or maybe it’s because many of them were Boy Scouts and follow the scout motto of “Be Prepared”.
Do not pull out a gun and shoot the ninja. That is useless, since Ninja are impervious to bullets (they shoot themselves just to cure itches). Even if you were lucky enough to hit the ninja, he would just take the bullet and beat you to death with it
Do not attempt to use pepper spray on the ninja. The ninja will use the spray to season his bologna sandwich, making him a bloated ninja.
Whatever you do, do NOT speak like a pirate, as ninja attack pirates on sight. Actually, just to be on the safe side, you should try to avoid using any words with an “R” in them. You might try pointing behind the ninja and saying Look out! There’s a pirate behind you!" but ninja are very cunning and will assume you are lying, so you might instead want to point behind the ninja and say, “Don’t look! There is not a pirate behind you!"
Always remember that haikus DO NOT work on ninjas. "
" First, do not panic. Ninja are able to sense panic and will home in on it, just like dogs, or bees, or William Shatner.
Second, don’t get bitten. If a ninja bites you, you will become one at every full moon. Actually, that may be a myth, but you still don’t want to get bitten, since that’s a good way to get an infection.
Third, Ninjas are NOT intimidated by pirates!. Idressing up as a pirate in an attempt to intimidate a ninja may have the same effect on oyur body as a blender does on mince meat.
Do not ask, “Who’s there?...", because the answer comes with a swift shuriken to the forehead.
Don’t get in a car and drive off, because the ninja will probably jump on the car and try to stab you through the ceiling with his sword. Besides, the ninja would already have placed caltrops in front of the tires. Incidentally, ninjas have an uncanny ability to plan for their foes every move. This could result from some kind of mystical ninja psychic ability. Or maybe it’s because many of them were Boy Scouts and follow the scout motto of “Be Prepared”.
Do not pull out a gun and shoot the ninja. That is useless, since Ninja are impervious to bullets (they shoot themselves just to cure itches). Even if you were lucky enough to hit the ninja, he would just take the bullet and beat you to death with it
Do not attempt to use pepper spray on the ninja. The ninja will use the spray to season his bologna sandwich, making him a bloated ninja.
Whatever you do, do NOT speak like a pirate, as ninja attack pirates on sight. Actually, just to be on the safe side, you should try to avoid using any words with an “R” in them. You might try pointing behind the ninja and saying Look out! There’s a pirate behind you!" but ninja are very cunning and will assume you are lying, so you might instead want to point behind the ninja and say, “Don’t look! There is not a pirate behind you!"
Always remember that haikus DO NOT work on ninjas. “
There’s a fighting game called Tenchu. You play as a ninja, and there’s one level where you must kill all Spanish and Portugese pirates in your village because they are drunken bastards who try to kill every one and take their loot. A special move is called Chi Blast, which causes exciting, violent, blue explosions eradicating the village of all pirates. This game just *proves* who badass ninjas are. And another thing, there are female ninjas. A woman who decides to join a ninja clan is welcomed with open arms, whilst a woman trying to join a pirate crew is thrown aboard because their “bad luck”. This comes to show that pirates are sexist pigs and ninjas aren’t. Female ninjas will galdy slice off a pirate’s testicles with a shuriken, causing much pain
Ninjae are amazing creatures, although very hard to study. Over the last several centuries, the following things have carefully researched about ninjae:
1. The four Ninja food groups are:
1. Eggroll
2. Cookie
3. Bagel
4. VENGANCE.
2. Ninjae are mammals.
3. Ninjae fight ALL the time.[1]
4. Ninjae like to keep kittens purring by rubbing their cute little bellies. See the Proof! If you see a kitten purring for no reason, there is undoubtdly an unseen ninja rubbing its belly.
5. All ninjae can wail on an electric guitar. However, they generally choose not to, as this tends to alert people to their presence.
6. Ninjae and pirates do NOT get along.
7. Ninjae can kill people and not even think twice about it. In fact, it would be suprising if they thought once about it. Killing people is as much reflex for them as breathing or Kitten Huffing.
8. High-level Ninjae can kill people just by staring hard at the back of their heads. So it’s a really bad idea to sit in front of a ninja at the movies and block his view.
9. Ninjae are incredibly flexible. Like a ferret or an octopus, a Ninja can escape through any hole he can see through.
10. Some Ninjae own kittens in one on one combat, but most Ninjae just own kittens.
11. Ninjae can change color to blend in with their surroundings.
12. Ninjae harness the awesome power of the Weekend proof in battles with pirates.
13. Ninjae do not watch television. Ever! But they may make television.
14. Ninjae are professionalised in the ancient art of 7.
15. Ninjae do not vote. It’s not that they don’t care about civic responsibility, they just don’t think that there is any real difference between political parties and would rather spend their time killing politicians than voting for them. Actually, wouldn’t we all?
16. Ninjae have the amazing ability to dislocate their jaws in order to swallow large prey.
17. Many Ninjae have apparently turned to running fast food franchises, due to a general downturn in the “leaping out of the shadows and killing people” sector of the economy.
18. A Ninja’s primary way of fighting is to hide in the shadows and watch other people fight. Then, when the underdog is almost dead, the Ninja leaps out and kills him, thus gaining all the combat experience without all that messy combat. If a Ninja isn’t quick enough to deliver the killing blow, he will probably still be quick enough to loot the corpse before the actual victor, and profit in this way instead.
19. When the need to break the silence and startle their enemy or unpaying pizza-delivery customer arises, the ninja cry of “Woh Chau” often bursts from their lips. Though several dialects of innate Ninja speak exist, this is by far the most popular.
20. If a Ninja emerges from hiding and sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.
21. High level Ninjae can reproduce asexually, like amoebas. If you cut a Ninja in half, each half will grow into a new Ninja.
22. A ninja can own anything in skee-ball.
23. The body of a Ninja is a deadly weapon, so Homeland Security has banned Ninjae from all domestic and international flights. For this reason, you’ll see a lot of Ninjae if you take Greyhound. Or rather, you won’t, if you know what I mean. But they’re there.
24. To control their numbers, Wisconsin Fish and Game recently introduced a Ninja hunting season. The bag limit during Ninja season is two Ninja (or headbands) per person, per day. But since then the hunter population has dropped from 82,373 to 0 without any known Ninja deaths.
25. Whereas normal Japanese penii are 2 inches, the Ninjae are 2 and a half inches. When exposed to water and sunlight, however, they expand an inch per day until having grown to their full length of four feet. This is why some people believe Ninjae have tails.
26. If you can see a Ninja, he is not a Ninja.
27. If you can’t see a Ninja you’re probably going to die very quickly.
28. Ninjae are not Ninjae if they do not wear their super-cool ninja suits.
29. Ninjae can live in your house for months without you noticing.
30. Ninjae can resist Michael Jackson.
31. Ninjae have sweet yo-yo skills.
32. Ninjae cannot ride bicycles.
33. Ninjae usually appear in the thousands.
34. Over half of all ninjae are from Detroit.
35. Ninjae Can kill people without emotioninal breakdowns
36. Ninjae Are able to Kill people without knowing they are
37. Ninjae can kill people With all sort of things, forks, Gnomes and Music
38. Ninjae Will kill you if they see you
39. Ninjae Will kill Your whole family if they kill you, so dont go and get yourself killed by a ninja.
40. Ninjae Don’t kill people when they eat, but they CAN take a break from eating and kill you
41. All ninjas want to kill, no matter where, when and why.
42. Despite what you learnt as a kid, if someone stole a cookie from the cookie jar, it was a ninja
43. The veracity of ninjae nipples is capable of cutting through the finest of red meats.
44. Ninjas can touch MC Hammer
45. Evil Ninjas can only attack one or two at a time. Good Ninja do not obey this rule, but can kick so much Evil Ninja ass, they don’t need to.
46. The trombone is the ninja instrument of choice.
47. If a Ninja fell in a forest, it wouldn’t make a sound.
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