This is Spartan 117 wrote:
There’s a fighting game called Tenchu. You play as a ninja, and there’s one level where you must kill all Spanish and Portugese pirates in your village because they are drunken bastards who try to kill every one and take their loot. A special move is called Chi Blast, which causes exciting, violent, blue explosions eradicating the village of all pirates. This game just *proves* who badass ninjas are. And another thing, there are female ninjas. A woman who decides to join a ninja clan is welcomed with open arms, whilst a woman trying to join a pirate crew is thrown aboard because their “bad luck”. This comes to show that pirates are sexist pigs and ninjas aren’t. Female ninjas will galdy slice off a pirate’s testicles with a shuriken, causing much pain
In a ball kicking contest Ninja’s will win 100% of the time because they can send there female ninja’s in.
Atresac wrote:
the pirate would just like... you know... rape the ninja.
only thing ninjas have going for them is Ask A Ninja
And the fact that they are awsome.
yes
but not awesomer than pirates.
“Ninja rarely ever eat, strictly because of the fact that they do not need broken down calories to energize their hatred. Their hatred is primarily derived from the unholy sight of women smiling. Any woman who gathers means of entertainment not inflicted upon her by a ninjas underrated topical humor and witty antics, is punishable by ninja sword, drop-kick to the Manolo Blahnik’s, five across the eyes, or the fearsome ninja dutch rub. Although ninja scarcely consume food, they do have a few exceptions.
* Pirate Ships: It is well known that ninja have a distinct hatred for pirates. They feast on the wood of pirate ships not only to spite their ruthless enemies, but Oscar Wilde once referred to them as “the termites of eternal awesomeness.""
* Nunchaku which is a pair of sticks tied together.
* Nununchaku, which is a pair of nunchaku tied together.
* Nunununchaku, which is a pair of nununchaku tied together.
* Nununununchaku... well, you get the idea.
* Nunununununununchakuku, wich is a pair of nununununchaku tied together.
* Nununununununununnununununununununununununununununchakukuku, wich is a pair of nunununununununchakukus and nununununchakus tied together.
* Nun-Chaku, which is a pair of nuns tied together
* Sword-Chucks
* Gopher-Chucks
* Norris-Chucks
* Chuck-Taylors
* Chuck-Berry
* How-Much-Wood-Can-A-Wood-Chuck-Chucks
* Air
* Rat-Flails
* Light Sabers
* Stick of Butter
* The Sun
* Uber awesome kunai knives
* Extremely shiny throwing stars (shuriken)
* Really sarcastic comments about your taste in clothes.
* The deadly thirty-seven-pointed throwing star, Optimus Prime
* Any body part they can rip off of your pitiful human body.
* Shuko & Ashiko
* Hamtaro
* Electric scissors
* Toasters
* Weekend Proof
* Even smaller ninjas that they keep in special hidden pockets
* Really, *really* small Ninjas, hidden in the pockets of the smaller Ninjae in their pockets.
* Really, really, *really* small Ninjae... well, you get the idea.
* The secret third toe on their boot
* A disarming sense of humor
* Potatoes
* Sharpened potatoes
* kittens
* The new Coke
* The old Coke if out of the new stuff.
* Fire-Water
* Love
* We were just joking about love.
* Peace
* Joking again
* Adoration
* ...ha!
* Retractable claws (Required to make a 'snickt' noise whenever extended or retracted.)
* yo-yo
* Kanji smite, used specifically on annoying fangirls and their obnoxious Japangrish.
* Guitars, and the back up singer
* Vindictive rumors spread behind your back to all your friends
* A magazine, usually Reader’s Digest
* Sex
* Boobs (although only the female ninja seem to use these, let alone posess them.)
* Yoda
* Reading at a tenth grade reading level
* Skee-balls
* Light
* +30 mana
* Ninja-monkeys
* Ninja-kittens
* Ninja-rabbits
* Ninja-turtles
* Ninja-puppies
* Ninja-Squirrels
* Ninja-giraffes
* Ninja-elephants
* Ninja-yeti
* Ninja-Sheep
* Various other ninja-animals
* The Yatta
* Shoelaces, particularly long ones
* Grues
* Megatokyo
* Their tongues
* Geometry
* The right to bare arms
* Two right bear arms
* Their Bare Hands
* Their Bear Hands
* Bears
* Care Bears
* Just about anything else which can be thrown, sharpened, cut, slashed, swooshed and/or shwanged
* Small amounts of phlem from their pet kittens
* Your mum
* Anti-Pirates
* A Led Zeppelin
* A Deff Leppard
* Jimi Hendrix(Already used)
* The Deadly Shards of Jimi Hendrix’s smashed Guitars
* Toenail clippers
* Toenail clippings
* Footy boots
* Golf tees
* Football tees
* Tennis tees
* Cross-country running tees
* Yourself
* cabers
* Pencil cases
* Pianos
* Lamps
* Norse Religion
* Jim Cotton
* Dozens of flowers
* Individual flowers
* Oscar Wilde
* Their aura of BADASSNESS
* Ultimate powered all black ninja model electric scissors
* an exploding can of soda
* Anything that it is physically impossible to kill anyone with
* Absolutely, most definitely NOT a straight-bladed cheap looking sword. At least, not all the time. Ninjae were and are masters of disguise as well as elite assassins, you see, and there would be no point in a Ninja disguising himself as a Samurai only to wear said type of sword, because all the real Samurai would look at him and point and laugh, and say, “Look at that shitty sword, looks like one carried by a Ninja!", at which point the disguised Ninja would get pissed off and kill all the Samurai, and fail his mission, because if he wanted to kill the Samurai in the first place, he wouldn’t have disguised himself anyway.
* Blue Eyes White Dragon
* The idea that 0.999... is equal to 1, which will force your head to explode.
* Ninjae can divide by 0, and will do so to YOU at will.
* A Drop Bear.
* Your Mom
* Tu Pinche Madre
* Pet bladed mongooses.
* Algebra
* Caluculus
* Second Order Differential Equations
* Exploding Popsicles
* The Blue Screen of Death
* The Ghetto Smack
* Circumcision
* CircumVision
* Evolutionary Debates
* Pokemon (GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL, BITCH!)
* The bitch that lives next door
* The bitch that lives next door’s mom and or dog
* The whore from up the street
* World of Warcraft (Nerd game of Doom!)
* The air itself
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