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UBER 1337 Poster
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wooooooo!

400th post!

bobster ssss

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it shows 401 u boob

M  v  C   Graphics Designer
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dont u mean 2000th

UBER 1337 Poster
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i had the 400th post before

Wannabe
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I am the Dark Lord of the North.

This message I depart is written with vengeance at heart.

Call down your men at my castle gate, else all fate will rest upon my hate.

No remorse shall befall my course if you ignore my demand to leave my land.

For too long has Man wondered my lands, I have witnessed your bands, I have seen the paths in the sands.

I gave you thought at first, naught did I know what you shall later curse.

You’ve scorched my trees, the smoke brought to me on nature’s breeze, begging my hand to take a stand, to draw my sword and accord these lands to the restored.

You’ve ripped into my dirt, it shivers beneath me in hurt, pleading me to cast you aflame into the seas from which you came.

I dealt your kind a blow to show what I can bestow a foe, a mere taste of my wrath to turn you from your path.

But you have refused to heed my demands to leave these lands, instead you have brought a war to my door.

Only one warning I shall give: leave while you live!

Upon this message’s impart you have but one day to depart.

On the second day I shall form a storm in a weave of black to shadowy my attack. In this night, sheets of bright light will fall from a height beyond your sight to smite your army with its beastly bite. Your bloodshed will spread from your dead in pools of red jewels for my land to wear in answer of its prayer.

On the third day I shall set chase to those who flee to sea. A roar of sound will still your hearts as I circle around, high from the ground. A great rumble you’ll hear as the sea-cliffs crumble below. A black wall of death will rise high amid the angry sky. Its strength shall meet your wooden fleet, a dual to rule this mighty land, one you can’t possibly withstand.

Heed this letter of warning, else your loves will soon be mourning.

No better advice will ever cross your simple lives twice.

Wannabe
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well i just had my 92 post that wasn’t worthless like ur 2067

Damn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
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This is my 4th story, but this one I’m sticking with. The basic plot is about two brothers, one a karate expert and ninja, the other an ex-cop suspended for being too “trigger-happy”. Their father was killed by a gang boss, and they are trying to get this guy and bring his organization down. Well, here goes. Send me a PM on what you think.

Chapter 1: A sight of Darren.

It all started 15 years ago. Dan and his brother Nick, they were only ten, when their father was killed. Their father borrowed money from a gang, and when they came to collect, he couldn’t pay them back. They weren’t patient.
“Henry, we want our money." said one of the guards.
“I don’t have the money, but if you give me a couple of days-"
“No! We want our money now!"
“I can’t pay you now."
“Then you have a problem."
“If you are gonna kill me, then go ahead. Do not hurt my sons."
“Ha!"
He looked at the window Nick and Dan were looking out of, and took three shots. Luckily he missed, and Dan and Nick ducked to look as if they had been killed.
“I killed them, what are you going to do now?"
“I’m gonna do this!"
Henry kicked the guard that tried to kill his sons, and tried to punch the other guards. The other guards held him back.
“Bit too violent, aren’t we? I say we calm him down, eh guys?"
The guards sniggered and nodded. The main guard held a knife, and just before he was about to stab him, heard a shout.
“Leave him. I want to kill this one myself." said Darren, while taking his own dagger out of his jacket pocket. Darren plunged the dagger into Henry’s chest, took it out and then forced it into Henry’s skull.
“Hehe, I’ve been waiting years for this day."
Henry lay on the floor, blood coming out of him like a running tap. Darren and his men soon ran before police turned up. It was over.


Then, twelve years later, Dan became an
armed police officer, only to be fired three years later for being too violent. Dan still remained a good friend to the police, occasionally the chief gave him a bounty to arrest or kill a criminal. Nick managed to get a blackbelt,and a master of swords. Soon Dan told Nick about a meeting he knew about between Darren and a dealer at the docks, and they were going to get Darren there.
“So, the deal is at 4, tonight?" asked Nick
“Yes, but we can’t force our way to him, he’ll have too many guards. We should try and take him out without him seeing us, so if I hide near a crate watching them, and you hide in one of the ships and sniper him, I’ll try and take the guards by surprise, then you come down and help me.
“Ok. We better get ready for this then."

Last edited 02 Jul 2007 02:07 am by Useful_Idiot

Damn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
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Well, what do you think? Should I continue into next chapter,or leave it?

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Sounds actiony

Damn you Thatcher, damn you tory bitch!
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Ok... moving to chapter 2!

Chapter 2: The great escape.

“Ok, I’ve got us here a few minuites early so we have plenty of time to hide. You try and find somewhere where you can shoot but not be seen, I’ll hide in that crate."
Dan hid in a crate and cut a hole in it so he could see what was going on. Nick went onto a cargo ship, and found a spot where he could see and shoot at Darren.

Darren soon arrived. He got out of the van and waited with his bodyguards. Nick decided to wait until the dealer arrived. When the dealer arrived Nick aimed for Darren. Nick had never used a rifle before, He aimed and fired, but hit one of the bodyguards instead.
“What the hell? There’s a spy here!You set us up!" shouted Darren.
“No.. I swear... I didn’t..." Replied the dealer, before he was shot in the chest.
Dan got out the crate and pulled out his pistol. Darren ran while his other bodyguard started shooting at Dan. Nick managed to hit the other bodyguard. Dan started shooting at Darren, he hit him in the leg. Darren limped to his car, and was hit again in the back. He still kept on moving. He got in the car and his driver started to drive away. Dan shot the back tyre as the car swerved, sparks flying everywhere. They were so close. Nick came down off the ship.
“We were so close, now we’ve lost him!" said Nick
“Not quite. He might have gotten away, but he is injured badly. We’ll track him down again.
“How? Now he knows we’re after him, he’s gonna have us killed!"
“He doesn’t know who we are, where we live, what we do... you get the idea. We will get him before he gets us.
“Ok, so what we going to do?"
“Lets go back home, and I’ll explain everything."

End of chapter 2.

Last edited 25 Jul 2007 10:49 am by Useful_Idiot

Live like an angel, die like a devil
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Warning: Shocking content follows. Life is like that sometimes.

This is about the time I saved papua new guinea from tom cruise
So, I was vacationing in scandinavia, and I met up with this beatiful tall blonde chick. She was in a viking costume, and I was ass naked. I took 5 hits of LSD. Apparently during my trip I went on Scandinavian national television, and said some inflammatory remarks about scientology, particularly the remark “L Ron Hubbard is a Cock riding cunt ass” Well, Tom cruise saw this, since thats what he does in his free time, watch scandinavian news, and he was pissed. So he sent the scientology army, composed entirely of mexican immigrants, after me. Well, as I woke up from my trip, the immigrants took her away. I used my M60 that I carry around to take some of them out, but i ran out of the crayons that I use for bullets, so they got away with her. So I said
“Screw it, now where’s my goddamn horse porn”
“No, Cody!! Do not masturbate yet”
“Holy shit, Who the fuck are you?"
“I am ben Kenobi, coming to you as a spirit, to tell you that you musy save that random chicK!!!"
“Jesus titty raping christ, did you have to do it all dramatic??"
“No, but it was funny. You must seek out Fu Manchu, The great Norwegian-Chinese kung fu master, to teach you ju-jitsu”
“Couldn’t you just give me your lightsaber?"
“No”
“Why not?"
“Because its mine. I must leave now. Seek out fu manchu, and learn the secret ways of Ultimate Fighting. By the way, do you have any sherm? I have a guy who wants some, and Im fresh out”
" Naw man, I could probably get some later, but now Im fresh out."
“Really? Aw, whatever, then. It’s cool. Peace dude."
“Later man”
30 seconds and 2 fade outs later,I found Fu Manchu. After I told him I was sent by ben, he trained me in the ancient art of being a bouncer. For three long years I trained, but it may have been an hour, and then I was ready. But first, I had to prove myself to Fu. He round house kicked me to the face, then I shot him in the neck with my glock. I asked him if I was ready, but all he did was twitch on the ground, so I told him
“Go fuck yourself, you old asian cunt."
“Wait, you must know."
“Know what, dying boy?"
“Where to get the weapon of uber 1337 pwnage”
“Where?"
“Ask trogdor”
“You don’t help at all”
Another fade out later I found trogdor, and he told me of the weapon. Genghis Khan was apparently a highly talented shredder on guitar, and before he died, he asked Trogdor to guard his amp, guitar, and tab book. None new of this until 1956, when Chuck Berry told people of this weapon through secret backwards messages in Johnny B Goode. All deaths off rock and roll stars in the next 40 years are attributed to trogdor burninating those who seeked it, as genghis said only to let his descendets have the guitar. But then came a day when a man came along who trogdor sai
“Screw it your asian, good enough."
“Let me guess trogdor, It was Herman Li from Dragonforce, wasn’t it?"
“Yes it was. He’s ravaging the french countryside right now with his shredding. Want a ride?"
“Sure, why not?"
So, trogdor transported me to the french countryside, where peasants were fleein in terror of Herman’s Pwnage. So I walk Up to him
“Sup Dude. Hey man, could help me out?"
Sure, what do you need?"
“I need you to transport me to where tom cruise is so-"
“TOM CRUISE!!!!FUCKA RUIN WAR OF WORLDS!!! GUITAR, TRANSPORT US TO WHERE CRUISE IS!!!"
So, we got transported to a strange tropical fortress, where guards immediately descended upon us. Luckily, I was dressed as a viking, and herman was a ninja guitarist, so a bloodbath ensued. People’s faces exploded, where disemboweled, eyes imploded, and penis’s flew into the air, and landed in their mouth. As we descende into his lair, we were met by cruise himself.
“You thought you could get away with slander, didn’t you? Well, now you have failed, and your woman is going to die!!ahhahahahahahahaha!!!!!"
As he was delving into a plot I wasn’t listening to, I stook a slight step over the water to the platform where that chick was being held, picked her up, and took another slight step back to where mister cruise was. Then, I impaled him with a battle axe.
“Hey herman”
“Yeah”
“Could you get us back to scadinavia?"
“Sure”
Then, when we got back to scandinavia, me and the blonde chick had all kinds of crazy sex. I also found out that the cruise family had ruled the country that we were transorted to, and we annexed them. Now Im a national hero there.
And thats how I saved papua new guinea from tom cruise.

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Wow Billy..

That was pretty hot.

Live like an angel, die like a devil
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bow-chicka-wow-wow

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-Dances?-

The Magnificent Bastard
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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We are but dust, waiting to be blown away by the gentle breeze of the ages as memories fade like a photograph left in the sun, bleaching our thoughts like the remnants of bone and desolate beings. Gone are the times of joy and laughter, snatched away mid breath by a thief who has no face and no name but is everywhere and nowhere. Born of both misery and happiness yet not one is better than the other as both are but a feeling to show life and should be rejoiced in equal parts of rapture and loathing. Each heartbeat brings us closer to life and death, like a glorious swan song spelling out our sweet sweet sorrows for the world to hear. Such beauty is lost upon the likes of man who was born with ears but lacks the ability to truly listen, he hears only the voice of his mind that speaks of his goodness and truth. Spread forth the gospel of pain and suffering that both life and death for the two dance endlessly and tirelessly, spinning on the edge of reason yet so close indeed. Fear not the end but embrace the start and shy away from the evils of life itself lest you be tainted and drink from its waters. For without life there is no death and death no life so celebrate them both for they are legion and they are hungry. Glorious is the puppet cut of its strings for it has no master and no life, yet no sorrow.

Cut your strings and be free.

The Magnificent Bastard
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Hark o the call the suffering children for they have no voice, a cry out in anguish suddenly silenced by the evils of man. Fear not the end sweet child for in the end there is much to rejoice, a end to sadness across the plagues our land.

The evils of war spread on swift wings, turning brother on brother and families distraught. Is there no end to the seeping madness sweet and seductive like a lover, she melds in our thought.

Innocent lives stolen, torn from existence by bloodied hands and dirty fingernails, rendering heartache without mercy. Children converted and mutated into mindless killers with a taste for blood that is unquenchable renders them thirsty.

The time of man, ruled by a iron fist of officials and diplomats, comfortably placed in the safety of their brethren. Millions extinguished at a moments notice, expendable soldiers march to their demise, fresh charred flesh that won’t see heaven.

Lives lost needlessly, the children cry, parents grieve, all which falls like tears from angels, absorbed into the blood soaked earth no splash for nothin. Why do we die, destroy our lives, for fear of living. How long until god himself pushes that button?

The Magnificent Bastard
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Death stalks the living like a hidden killer waiting in the shadows, blade at the ready, glimmering like a crescent moon on a starry night. Feel his breath on your neck, the icy chill of the wind and his eyes, the unknown presence that arouses the hairs to stand to attention like so many soldiers waiting to enter the fray. Tick Tock Tick Tock, can you hear the clock ticking, seconds falling away into the void, falling forever, endlessly and motionless, carcases of life lost to the sand. The weight of living bears down on us like so much gravity, crushing us more and more, misshaping us, offering hunched back and crooked joints as time wears us away, eroding us like the waves wear away the cliff, crashing eternally. Can you taste him, the hidden presence of decay hidden in every meal, for you consume his work and devour his art to sustain life. His smell, carried on the wind that caresses your face like the gentle hand of a lover long lost, marking you, kissing you for you will be his. In the end, he will take you, his loving embrace cutting swathe through all that you have surrounded yourself with as he carries you away on blackened wings, free and loving. Embrace him for he loves and is merciful, he watches over you even now as you read this, whispering sweet nothings into your ear like a spectral Romeo wooing his Juliet. He is the first and last love you will ever know, he is legion, he is death and one day, he will come for his lost children and embrace you, his hug forever sweet and everlasting.

The Magnificent Bastard
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
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With no moments notice
Your life turned upside down
Free falling forever
There is no safe ground

Buried inside are
Worry and fear
Even my friends
Are enemies here

Jagged and painful
Like a cancerous growth
The longer I live
The deeper I go

A whole mind now shattered
Now a shadow of myself
All who I was
Is now placed on the shelf

I worry and I panic
Chilled to the bone
Surrounded by loved ones
Yet I feel so alone

A world rife with danger
Every moment your last
Just ask anyone with it
ANXIETIES A BLAST!

The Magnificent Bastard
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 19,601

Of closed mind
And closed heart
Of love and destruction
Life can be mean

Of false promise
And broken dreams
Of hatred and regret
Life can be sorrow

Of joy
And mirth
Of friendship and hope
Life can be happiness

Of darkness
and death
Of pain and fear
Life can be draining

Of hopelessness
And defeat
Of surrender and abandon
Life can be pointless

Of strength
And determination
Of confidence and sweat
Life can be worth living

OWNED BY SA-X
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Wow..

>>

<<

-Has nothing else to say.-