King of MVC Rep: 26  Joined: 20 Dec 2006 Posts: 8,558 OFFLINE | So I put my investigative skills to work and interviewed some of the stars of the hit TV show Dragon Ball Z and got some suprising results (Please take this as the joke it is). Seems not everybody was too happy about our little hero in orange.
First on my list was Bulma, “When I first met the boy he seemed nice, but after a few days his abundance of energy and enthusiasm began to drain me. That’s when things got ugly. One night when I was sure little Goku was asleep I decided to take a shower, and low and behold I catch the peeping tom looking in on me. I didn’t know what to do! Ever since that day he has been trying to catch glimpses of me naked. He is definately no ordinary little boy." After the interview Bulma went into nervous shock and wouldn’t respond for several hours no matter the comfort we gave her.
Next I interviewed long time friend and confidant, Krillin. “Oh that Goku, always stealing the lime light. It doesn’t matter how many pretty lady’s I bring around the house it’s always 'Goku this and Goku that', I’m sick of hearing about his latest exploits, I WAS THERE TOO MAN! YOU DON’T HERE ME BRAGGING!"
I then interviewed his wife Chi Chi, “Goku who? Oh you mean my lame excuse for a husband who never calls and comes in at all hours of the night, often gobbling down the supper I spent hours making with not a word of thanks. That pig needs to appreciate what he’s got and stop playing around with his little friends fighting 'supervillains' every day. He drives me crazy sometimes!"
Of course I couldn’t forget old master Roshi, “Oh the lad scares me. He always requests that I hold onto the 'good' magazines for him, and one time held me at gunpoint for one! The boy is crazy, he 'accidently' killed one of my earlier students and his adopted father. He is a menace to society that must be put down, but don’t tell him I said that!"
My curiousity was definately getting the better of me, so I traveled off to interview his brother Radditz, he had this to say “So me and my boys were just doing a little planting. We wanted to see if this tree of life thing would look nice in our new back yard, then out of nowhere Goku and his conservative freak crew came in and tried to kill us! They called us liberal nut jobs and said that we were “destroying the planet”. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do, so I ate some of the fruit, not wanting it to go to waste and did my best as a citizen of this planet to protect it and all of it’s tree’s from the menace known only as Goku."
I next visited Nappa who had this humbling thing to say. “I was just planting some saibamen plants for my garden when this Goku guy blasts in and destroys all of my hard work. I spent almost 3 years cultivating that garden, just to see it go up in smoke, that crazed man deserves whatever punishment comes to him."
Then I talked to his long time partner Vegeta. “That man drives me up the wall! It’s always 'do this vegeta, do that vegeta, put on these earing vegeta' I can’t stand it! And the calls, all night long the calls. I hardly get a moment of peace with that guy around."
Next we traveled to the afterlife to interview an old foe Frieza, “My kid lost his orange marbles on this planet and I was doing my best to find them when all of a sudden this Goku fellow shows up and challenges me to a fight. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge but I really wanted to find those marbles for my son! I thought that me and him had come to a friendly agreement when suddenly his hair changed colors and he attacked me out of nowhere! It was horrifying and humiliating. He forced me to do things... things I tried to block from my mind. Rape! RAPE!"
Of course we couldn’t forget long time favorite though often overlooked Cell, “I was one years old when I met Goku. I had litterally just been born and the crazed man decided to attack me! I didn’t have any choice but to fight back, then he used what seemed to be hypnotic powers to get his son to shoot me with what appeared to be a blue colored rocket."
And of course Buu, “I went to the store and bought some candy, then I ran across this Goku figure. He asked if he could have some but I said no because I didn’t know him and I looooove my candy. He beat me to a pulp and demanded all my money. I called the cops but they were all afraid of this orange suited menace to try and stop him."
Last but not least, I interviewed Brolly who had only this to say, “Kaaaaaaakoroooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I ask you this question. Goku, friendly savior of the world? Or cold hearted murderer? You decide. ---
THE KING HAS RETURNED! |
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