How old were you at your first kiss? Age you first fell in love?

gg wrote:


I hear you, rockerchick. Best advice...honesty is the best policy. As in, to yourself!

You could manipulate the situation where the drummer gets you access to the guy you like, but that’s bad karma. It’s nasty too.

You could linger on with the drummer, but you’re just gonna end up dragging out his broken heart and his own inner-turmoil wondering why his girl isn’t nicer to him etc.

Also, you’re denying yourself being yourself. If you guy thru guys too quick...oh well, that’s you. Embrace it. At the same time, being with drummer dude is gonna eke away at you too. Make you feel bad about yourself stringing along a guy, etc.

I wouldn’t wait till drummer dude says something to use as an excuse to break up. I’d just go straight up to him and say, “i think youre a great guy, but I just dont feel the same etc”. I doubt he’d phsyically hurt you if you did it in a nice supportive way. If he gets stalky or possessive, BEST TO GET OUT ASAP before it turns even uglier.

Apocalyptic Gladiator wrote: “Love”. I trully have no clue of what that is.

rocker chick wrote:
Thanks for the advice
I think i am going to break up with him either tomorrow or after spring break
I mean i dont want to ruin his spring break... but idk
Id really rather him do something to provoke my breaking up with him... bc this is going to be weird... for us and my brother... i mean we take him to his school and home from school almost everday.... I was going to wait until my brother graduated but i think that is too long...
Plus i keep seeing the guitarist and i know i better end mty relationship before i do something stupid
My bf wouldnt physically hurt me if i broke up with him but rather to himself.. which in my opinion is far worse...
I’m sure it’ll all fall in place
or i hope so
We are both going to florida for spring break but wont be together so i think that time away from each other will be for the best
i just wish he didnt care so much about me...
But yeah

So are you doing anything fun for spring break?

gg wrote:

I still think waiting for him to do something to give you an excuse is not the best way at all.

I dont think it would ruin his spring break at all...but actually BECOME the impetus for him to move on and nail some other hot tail instead and get over his 'rocker chick' blues.

Im sorry but anyone who’s dating someone who 'hurts themself' should be hauling their ass out of that relationship asap. You dont want those kinda people around you. They’ll just mope and whine 24/7 and end up using guilt to blackmail the people they’re dating...“if you break up with me I’ll kill myself, I’ll cut my wrists” etc. What you say always is...“ok well you do that but i’m outta here”...they never do that. I’ve known plenty of people who were dating people like that and when they’re all talk they’re no action. They never do it the ones who talk about and whine all the time - theyre just fishing for sympathy and try to make crutches out of people.

I live in Australia at the moment so no spring break for me.

Sorry to 'lecture' you about what to do etc. Ultimately its your choice. So do what you think’s best...just thought I’d help anyway.

rocker chick wrote:
Hmmm i think you’re right
thanks again
It is just going to be hard it all
and i know it always is
but this will be extra hard
but its something i have to do

Wow no spring break im sorry
btw im Sabrina lol

gg wrote:


Hi Sabrina, I’m...uh um...GG lol.

If you’re gonna do something, whatever it is, just do it. Cast off. No fiddling about.

Breaking up with him wont be as hard as dating the new guy while the ex is around. Also, hard, is appearing so soon with a new BF straight after breaking up.

Are the drummer and the guitarist friends? It might be hard to put all that in the lap of the guitarist if they’re friends. Might or might not cause probs between them.

You cant really break up without mentioning your interest in the other guy tho. You just cant get around that if the idea of breaking up is to get with the other one asap. Also, are you sure the other guy wants you? Have you two actually expressed your interest for each other? That you start dating if you broke up? Does he have a gf as well? Are they actually doing ok together? Will you be wrecking that if he likes you the same but also likes the one he’s with?

You’d have to tell me the finer details before I can really give you the perfect advise. Otherwise, if you wanna handle it yourself, just take the drummer aside, explain to him you like him very much, but your time together has made you realize that your feelings for him arent romantic - nothing personal, just the sparks arent there, that you did try.

rocker chick wrote:
No the drummer doesnt know the guitarist
and i am positive that the guitarist likes me bc he told me and yeah...
idk its just extra hard bc b4 i began dating the drummer we were tight friends
and then we went to a party once and it just kinda led to us dating
i have been dating him only for 2 months but ive known him for almost 5 years....
I havent known the guitarist for nearly as long but idk....

gg wrote:

Drummer & guitarist not friends....much easier.

You gave it a try with the drummer and it didnt work, your feelings evolved away from pure friendship but they didnt last. The sparks not there. So no big deal really. Let him get over it.

The guitarist says he likes you. Good. You dont know him too well tho. Just find out if hes already got a gf. If he’s a player or not. If all the girls want him and he enjoys the attention. Playing a little hard to get yourself isn’t bad either. Show him youre available but let him chase you a little. Or...ignore that and just dive right in without a care in the world because he’s just 'the next guy', 'the next thrill', and you’re cool not looking for some kind of love, just a bit of fun. So that’s cool, make of it what it might be and dont worry if it in turn only lasts a few months until you move on again.

Whatever happens happens, basically. Take it as it comes. Just dont feel like you “ought to” start dating long-term if you feel you’re not ready or into it yet.

Also, if you and drummer were tight friends before, then you should remain so afterwards. If he cant handle it and stops being your friend then thats not your fault. He’s just got to deal with life’s bumps and turns.

rocker chick wrote: Ok i will today i am leaving for florida for 10 days and unfortunatley i will not see him today
which was to my surprise because i had planned on going through with it today until i figured out last night he didnt have school and i am leaving straight after school
uggg
i might justr end up doing it over the phone....