Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Lord God has been up to his old tricks again with his “always amusing” moving in mysterious ways.
First of all he put dinosaur bones in the ground, just so we could dig them up and question our place in the grand scheme of things.
Now his latest wheeze is a belter.
Apparently, at some point in the last 40,000 years he invented chickens, I think it was a Tuesday.
He had some spare protein left over so he decided to stuff it in some old T-Rex bones just before burying them for us to find. He then sat back and waited for the hilarity to ensue. He told a Spoof.com reporter “it’s so funny when these scientists run around trying to prove evolution, it makes me howl with laughter, they just don’t realise that I’m behind it all, genius!"
Unfortunately, when God was asked by our reporter, how he manages to find the time and necessity to create these hilarious, aeon spanning gags at the human races' expense but he cant stop war, hunger, destruction and not to mention Roman Catholic priests defiling devout diocesans, he declined to comment and told our reporter that he had business to attend to elsewhere. TheSpoof.com reporter reminded God that he is the father of all creation, omnipotent and therefore “by definition” unable to be anywhere else whilst not being here. God called him a smart-ass and left.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
Fuck off, just a bit of fun. Besides that there, that’s the only thing they can say anymore in Europe. Freedom of speech aside from hate speech directed at christens has been completely expunged.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
Aussie pop sausage Kylie Minogue has been admitted to hospital after revealing that she has developed a serious addiction to Ferrets. This news come only weeks after fellow pop icon Robbie Williams was discovered to have been dealing with a Weasel problem.
The Antipodean songstress was said to have discovered the lure of the rodent-like animal during her super special brave (much braver than the rest of us) recovery from career cancer last year. She had to have part of her career removed after it was found to be 'foul' and 'smelling'. Her time off for rehabilitation meant spending a lot of time alone at her $200 billion dollar mansion in Braintree, Essex.
“She bought the ferrets to keep her company, just the 2 initially." Said one source approximate to the star.“But soon she was bringing home half a dozen a day!"
It wasn’t long before friends and family started to become worried about the amount of animals freely roaming around the super-mansion. One friend, who didn’t want to be named for fear of being seen as the money grabbing gossip-monger she is, told us “It was way out of control. At one point I reckon she had about 5000 of them. She told me she used to lock the door, take all her clothes off and roam the house stroking and fondling the ferrets. Other times she would just sit and let them run all over her while she sang a selection of her greatest hits. She’s obviously a mental."
The dwarfish sex-symbol was admitted to hospital last week after her sister, surgically enhanced Kylie-wannabe Danni, drove her there on the promise of taking her to a ferret exhibition. Instead she drove the troubled starlet to Braintree Royal Infirmary where she was admitted to an insanery. Doctors have issued a statement describing her condition as “like a trifle, but with an apple on top”
This echoes the sad tale of fallen pop meat Robbie Williams who was found last month to have been holed up in his LA home with what one source said was “a positive shitload” of Weasels, and was refusing visitors and phone calls. His manager has since managed to coax him out of the Beverly Hills mansion with a fake Grammy and a box of Twix bars.
On a brighter note the 139th Braintree Ferret Exhibition passed on the same day without a hitch.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
Mortis wrote:
hmmm, this weasel seems to be an atheist, no?
No, I live my life by a set of morals and values I arrived at independently. I’m just non too fond of christens. Which might make me atheist, God knows (No pone intended) all they do is bitch about christens. Honestly I have met very few good ones out of both christen and atheist lots.
Most christens I have met are all holeyer then thow, and definitely not the sharpest knifes in the dower. Spewing nonsense and damnation where ever the go.
And most Atheists I have met are snobby, egocentric dicks, who think if you believe in an after life that your IQ goes down 50 points. As long as your a fuck head just like them they will love you, but at the first instance of a wavering ideology, they stab you in the back.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
And this information about instinctual beliefs comes to us from someone who wishes he had one....seriously, weasel....you are such an idiot sometimes.
And in case you haven’t noticed, your “Christian bashing” has neither scored you any points with anyone on either side of the religious highway, nor has it phased the Faith of any Christians on here. I think its time to face the facts that NO ONE IS LISTENING TO YOUR HALF-ASSED ATTEMPTS TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANITY!
Besides, your even doing this in the first place is a blatent irrelevancy. If you were half the mature and sensible person you claim to be, instead of trying to force people to conform to your opinions by constantly knocking God and Christianity, you should let people look at “the facts” on their own and come to their own conclusions and make their own decisions concerning religion. If you did that, you wouldn’t have such a bad rap with some people on here...
>>>>>>>>>>sheesh>>>>>>>>>>>
--- Legends are usually bad news. There’s not a lot of difference between heroes and madmen...
Last edited 14 Apr 2007 09:20 am by Captain Falcon
You’re assuming that I care. Falcon I am what I am, and no one can take that from me. If you have a problem with me then don’t talk to me, it’s that simple.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
Fuck off, just a bit of fun. Besides that there, that’s the only thing they can say anymore in Europe. Freedom of speech aside from hate speech directed at christens has been completely expunged.
don’t even kid around like that.It’s not “just a bit of fun." And you can’t spell “christian."
I’m sorry, I just despise jokes directed at God. It is in NO WAY funny.
Weasel 16 wrote:
Falcon I am what I am, and no one can take that from me.
Then quit trying to take away from every Christian on here what you claim I’m trying to take from you....
And what am I taking away from you sir?
You see that last guy, I don’t care what he says, he has a right to say it, and I have a right to say what I say, I’m not taking away from him, I’m ignoring him. Why don’t you ignore me? It’s not like I’m physically hurting you, if I was doing that I’d stop because I’m not a violent person.
--- Dogbert said the deepest thing ever.
“It is all a part of the big illusion we perpetuate upon ourselves and which is in turn perpetuated upon us. When we believe we engage the illusion, when we stop believing we shatter the illusion and ourselves in the process because we are part of it."
Fuck off, just a bit of fun. Besides that there, that’s the only thing they can say anymore in Europe. Freedom of speech aside from hate speech directed at christens has been completely expunged.
don’t even kid around like that.It’s not “just a bit of fun." And you can’t spell “christian."
I’m sorry, I just despise jokes directed at God. It is in NO WAY funny.
Joke directed at god are quite funny to me.
And so it begins.
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