If Your Penis Offends Thee, Cut It Off!!!

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If Your Penis Offends Thee, Cut It Off

This is somewhat sad.

King of MVC
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I know where he got that from. It’s a verse in the bible taken out of context (as they often are). Here we go:

Matthew 5:29-30:

[29]And if thy right eye causeth thee to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body be cast into hell. [30]And if thy right hand causeth thee to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body go into hell.

There are big debates even now of what this verse means. You can find one here if your interested. http://www.christianblog.com/blog/altonturner/cut-off-your-hand-if-it-leads-you-to-sin/

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So what exactly does this verse mean? That if something causes you to sin you should get rid of it?

King of MVC
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You want my opinion on it? In my opinion what it is saying is that you would be better off to remove something that causes you to falter then to simply live with it. Applied to current times it can mean many different things. For one, the internet is a huge lure for people to look up pornography, having the internet on your computer tempts people to look up pornography, and for one I feel pretty dirty after I look up pornography. Giving up the internet for a month or two in order to break the habit definately would leave me in a much better state of mind. I’m not going to push that on anybody, that’s just my frame of thinking.

But it’s basic advise. If something causes you to stumble in life, you’d get rid of it right? I mean say you waist too much time on the internet and never get your homework done. Wouldn’t it be reasonable that you get rid of the internet for a while so you can focus on your grades and do decently in class?

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*hugs my penis*

But on a slightly more serious note. What Derdev said is the truth. I don’t think that the bible is to be taken seriously like that. I see a lot of it as being metaphorical. So the verse would mean that if something causes you to sin then you should remove that something from your life.

Really, it’s just common sense, something that all people should abide by. I mean, if your toaster has sparks coming from the wire would you keep it? Same thing here, if the interweb causes you to look up porn, get rid of it.

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Thank you, see the problem with a lot of bible verses is that they were written around 2000 years ago, for people who raised cattle and farmed for a living. You have to try to apply these principals to today’s world, adapt and live, stay stedfast in the old ways and die. That’s social darwinism for ya and it can be applied to all aspects, the bible included.

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if u had clicked this link and read its content http://bible-truths.com/lake16-A.html, u wouldnt be asking this question now. i posted that link several times.

\THE WORDS OF JESUS ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. You are not to literally, cut off your feet or your hands or pluck out your eyes. The words of our Lord are figurative, symbolic language, which have to do with a higher spiritual truth, but have nothing to do with literal dismemberment of your physical body.

WHAT ‘LITERAL’ MEANS

American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary: “literal, adj. 1. Conforming or limited to the simplest, nonfigurative, or most obvious meaning of a word or words."

Webster’s collegiate Dictionary: “literal, adj. 1a: According to the letter of the scriptures b: adhering to fact or to ordinary construction or primary meaning of a term or expression: actual c: free from exaggeration or embellishment…"/

there is more in the link.

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Yeah I’m not going to read all that, I think I’ll just stick with my answer thank you very much.

Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi
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lol.

There are over-the-tops in everything.

or just Red
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I’m pretty sure that wasn’t supposed to be taken literally, but that guy sure did.

The Magnificent Bastard
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Cut my cock off.

Fuck that...I need it to poke things with.

How else am I going to turn off the lights, change the tv channels, type on the computer and scare old ladies and children?

My penis is my world..Celebrate the penis, for with it, anything is possible

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OMG!

I know, I totally use mine for the same thing.

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Wait a minute, so now Jesus is completely metaphorical, or are you picking and choosing? I haven’t seen anything in the Bible that would suggest it was to be taken other than literally.

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have u “seen” the fact that:
We cannot blame our foot for KICKING SOMEONE.
We cannot blame our hands for STRANGLING SOMEONE.
We cannot blame or eyes for LUSTING AFTER ANOTHER MAN’S WIFE.

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So... is Jesus metaphorical? Yes or no.

What about Adam and Eve? Are they purely metaphorical too? What in the Bible isn’t metaphorical?

Last edited 12 Sep 2007 06:48 am by ramunematt

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is he metaphorical as in his existence? no.
adam and eve? no.
there are many non metaphorical things in the bible, i cant tell u everything.

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How about this. Most of the parables in the bible, were metaphorical stories showing different aspects of life and how they should be delt with. The actual story of Jesus is non-metaphorical.

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Sounds like your just picking and choosing which parts you want to be metaphorical and which are literal. Where in the Bible does it say that ANY of it’s stories are metaphorical?

Last edited 12 Sep 2007 02:56 pm by ramunematt

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Actually from scientific research, we can conclude that Jesus was metaphorical. He is a personification of the Sun. The entire story of Jesus is based on astronomy and borrows some of his qualities from other religions. Do you have any idea how many other messiahs there were that predated Jesus yet share pretty much all of his qualities? There is no evidence that Jesus ever existed as an actual person or that he did the things the Bible says he did.

Last edited 12 Sep 2007 02:57 pm by ramunematt

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where in the bible does it say that ALL of its stories are literal?

when poets write a poem do they also give instructions on how to interpret it? do they tell us which parts are metaphorical and which parts arent.

u seem to have a problem with the bible containing both metaphorical and literal stories.