The Internet is a big place, constantly providing new fads, memes, jokes, et cetera. However, with a constant flow of new jokes, it may be hard to keep up with new jokes and old ones. What I mean is that some people just don’t get when a certain meme or fad is dead, and will still sometimes use it or make reference to it. This causes annoyance for those of us who know when something is dead and we have to deal with everyone talking about how random the idea of purple monkeys is. Actually, that was never even a meme. The whole random humor thing, which instead of being random humor in the typical sense is just random nonsensical combinations of words, originated with a bunch of 12 year olds who shopped at Hot Topic and watched too much Invader Zim.
So, I am going to try and provide a service to all of you, with an extensive list of things that are no longer funny, and you should not use. Exceptions to these rules are noted.
w00t:
w00t is a word used to note excitement. This was popular for a time, and still is with little kids on the internet who can’t get a hold of themselves. Thus, if you use it, people will think you’re a 12 year old who somehow got onto the internet. This warrants you for a good flaming.
teh:
Used in place of “the”. Popular for a while, but no one cares now. You don’t see it in every day speech anymore. Thus, the usage of it will attract attention to yourself. You don’t want that. A big no-no is “teh pwn/z0r”. No, just no. Only use if you are making fun of someone.
pwn:
For the most part. The only acceptable times is when someone has had their shit ruined, then you can say they have been pwned. Other than that, just no.
13375p34k:
I can’t believe this needs to be pointed out, but don’t type in 1337. Ever. 1337 itself is ok, as in the word, because that just means cool. Still, it should not be a part of your regular vernecular. If your screen name contains numbers instead of letters, change it. Seriously.
wrds lyk dis:
Not a big deal for most people, but every once in a while someone decides they don’t care because it’s “just the internet”. However, typing in shorthand implies that you are too lazy to type the full word, meaning typing the full word is too much work, meaning typing full words isn’t something you normally do, which means you’re a scab on the ballsack of society.
Michael Jackson Jokes:
Seriously, I can’t believe this needs to be pointed out to some people. No one cares about Michael Jackson. We get it, he looks funny, and he was convicted of child molestation (and was innocent) years ago. Stop making jokes about how he molested you or molested someone else or anything like that. It’s old and unfunny now. Come up with something original. Only mention his name when referring to music.
Barney/Sesame Street/Other Kids Shows:
This is used quite often to imply immaturity on the part of the reciever of such a quip. For example, one might say “go watch barney kid”. This is dumb and lame and lame and dumb. Be creative, even if it’s not too creative, like “go suck your thumb”. This is more acceptable because excessive use of kids show references makes it seem like you watch them. By the way, don’t say how much you love shows like Dora the Explorer. If your age ends in the word “teen” you should not watch such shows for the rest of your life. Don’t say about how it’s “mesmerizing” or “trippy” or anything else people like to say in order to make themselves sound random.
Random Humor:
This is a controversial one because a lot of people on the Internet (and in real life too) can’t pass up the opportunity to say something that makes zero sense, but that very fact is apparently what makes it cool. It doesn’t. Now not all random is bad. For example, the ninjas vs. pirates debate has been going on for years. Prime example of good random humor.
Here’s a list of things that are normally used for random value, but have been done so much they’re not anymore:
*monkeys
*“piggies”
*llamas
*spoons
*forks
*sporks
*pie
*eggs
*cheese
*cookies
*food in general
The other day I drew a viking riding a rhino. It sounds like it’s just something I thought up for the sake of things, but in reality I just decided to take two really awesome things and combine them. There’s a logic to it, therefore, it’s not entirely random. “Random” humor should always have some logic to it.
Giant Enemy Crab:
This is a biggie because it wasn’t even all that funny to start off with. For the uninformed, this started when someone from Sony was presenting a game, said that the fights were based off of real historical battles, and a giant crab showed up. We get it, it’s not historically accurate. It’s old news. Get over it. I’m sure the people who make these jokes still think it’s the funniest shit in the world, slamming their hands on the desk like an ape while laughing at their own ability to make a joke involving something someone else brought into their scope. For people like me, we just sit there shaking our heads in disapproval, wondering when they’ll realize it happened over two years ago.
Chuck Norris Jokes:
They’re like “yo momma” jokes, except most people know yo momma jokes are old as shit (the only people who don’t are MTV who actually made a show based off of it). Chuck Norris jokes originated many years before as Vin Diesel jokes. But people just changed them to fit Chuck Norris and a new fad was born. They were funny for a while, but everyone has heard them 50 times now. No one needs to hear about how the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris anymore. Seriously, people stopped caring.
This list is subject to updates as I remember more things that people keep talking about.
Dont forget, pics with immortal. If youve seen a pic with a band with over the top face paint and spikes and leather, its immortal. We get it, they have a relatively ridiculous image, yo dont need to keep on making photos of them saying shit like “cen i haz a tootsie pop?" If you do, you are a worthless fuckwillow, and death is too good for you.
Also, copying jokes from a comedian. Any comedian. Ever. If your too much of a shitlicking fuckrabbit to come up with jokes of you’re own, dont plagarize a well known comedian. If you do, not only does the RIAA shit a brick, but jesus cries.
Another thing that gets on my nerves. People who put something around their post, like asteriks or arrows, and then describe what they are supposed to be doing. Its especially bad when someone does it doing something violent. You’re pretending to be doing something violent, over the internet? Seriously, lay off the caffeine and GTA, take a shower, and cut your dick off, so you cant procreate.
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» A list dildo of whore things whore that are old and lame slut now.
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