| 08 Dec 2004 06:14 pm |
Entree Rep: 0 Joined: 08 Dec 2004 Posts: 1 OFFLINE | I can tell its my time to go. i dont have any friends to talk to any more as they all left me. all because i had to move to cornwall and my old friends in sussex have ditched me and the friends i did have in cornwall turned out to be two faced bitchy cows. i HAve no1 to talk to any more.. there nothing to say except that I wish I wasn’t the person that I am. I wish my father could be proud of me one time and not think that I 'm some kind of demented waste of life. I wish that I wasn’t such a dissapointment. I wish I still had faith. . I wish that there was someone with me right now who could love me because they chose to not because of some obligation. I wish I could feel something more than the numbness that has become my new home. I wish that I didn’t have my memory. That I woke up tomorrow and nothing was real. I wish I could mentally stop my heart from beating, why can’t someone put me out of my misery, why do I get to live, me, a worthless empty shell, while so many good people die. How can this not be hell? how can people fear death when this is hell. I wish I didn’t hate my father, I wish I could forgive him, But something tells me that we’ll never be close. Not now Not ever as he a perverted freak who sexualaly harrsed me july last year and raped me as well all becuse i told my mum and showed her things about him some drity porno photos which he taken of young girl about 17 and my mum decided to devorce him and he blambs me for it so he keeps punishing me by sexually harrasing me and rapeing me and beating me up. Now my dad got a new family he happy and i go there and i see him with sue and the boys and see that they a happy family which iv never had. all iv had in my life is yelling shouting agueing and being beaten up. my dad loves my brother treats him like royalty and my dad dont give to hoots about me. When i was born i just rowen everything as him my mum and my bro was a happy family untill i came along and rowen id it. i rowend haveing a happy family all year round for my life. iv rowend my mums life with him iv rowen his life yet again him loseing my mum. what ever i do i rowen it. i cant do anything right i get beaten up coz of im not cornish and they dnt like me just becuse im not what they want me to be a right stunning good looking girl who is not popular so they hate me and decide think its cool beat me up and put me in hospital. I lay in bed dreaming of haveing a nice loveing family sitting by the fire haveing nice family chats where i can confinde in my dad. and if i got problems and my mum not there i can go talk to him. but no iv never had any that no1 ever has time for me. they just throw me in the back ground. Every1 takes me for granted. my mum moveing up to lnacashire soon and im not aloud move in with her coz of her conition her doctor said im not aloud and writen to her soliciters i cant live with her and my dad said im not living with him as he dont want me to rowen this relation ship with sue. I’v basicly got no where to go when they go there own way. all i got is a stupid shop door way. with nothing and with nobody not even family well what family have i got as my dad has turned them against me and now they dont want nothing to do with me. my life is just getting worse and worse. beaten up everynight my dad trying to kill me and then when i go to police about him he dennyes it all and the police say that im lieing and everything as my dad lies to save his skin so he can have his nice happy snoppy spitfull life. my parents dont like me because im not like them mean horribel and perverted. im a quiet self to my self kind of girl and they dnt like that so they decided that im not part of the family and they use me as a punch bag and when they in bad mood they take it ALL out on me. My only good best friend died this year of brain tumor 1 day b4 her 17th bday and my parents wouldnt even let me say my good byes and pay my respects to her as its the best right thing to do. they wanted me and my friends missrable. and they just try there best to get rid of me. i just dont want live thgis life any more. im fed up changeing my personality to try and fit in but it never works everytime i try and change for them all i get is a fist in my face and knifes throwen at me and TV throwen at me and been strangeld. I wish i could just go to sleep and dream my loverly dreams and never wake up to reality again wake up to my horriable beating life. i just wish i could die. im fed up with livieng please some 1 tell me quick easy ways to die please as i dnt want live any more my time has come to an end and it about time i die and go for good and visit becky up in the sky.
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| 09 Dec 2004 03:23 pm |
Ready to die Guest | WAIT!!
I know exactly how u feel please dont
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| 03 Jan 2005 02:02 pm |
me Guest | IT WILL BE OK... I THINK ABOUT DIEING TOO ALL THE TIME BUT THEN I REMEBER THAT THERE ARE WORSE OF PEOPLE. I HAVE BEEN THREW ALOT TOO. ME AND MY DAD ARE ABOUT THE SAME AS YOU AND YOURS. MY MOM WHO WAS EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING DIED IN A CAR WRECK WITCH I WAS DRIVING. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I AM SO DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE THAT PEOPLE DONT REALLY GET ALONG WITH WHO I AM. I ALWAYS THINK I HAVE THE WROST LIFE BUT LOOK AT THE PEOPLE THAT WERE IN THE EARTHQUACK, I ALWAYS THINK IT CANT GET ANYWORST BUT JUST KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CARES JUST LET ME KNOW OK.
YOUR ALWAYS LOVED BY, ME
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| 01 Feb 2005 04:40 pm |
terry t Guest | i know how u feel my wife has been dead for months n i juat want to be with her
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| 07 Feb 2005 07:22 pm |
hi Guest | do it now im going to
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| 07 Feb 2005 09:11 pm |
Me Guest | Well i am sure my dad feels the same way as you but he realizes that even with out his wife my mom, there are other people who need him and i am sure there are others who need you. I always know not to be selfish and think well if i kill myself then i wont feel the pain anymore but what about the other people like my little sis and brother. There is always someone who loves you and even though i dont know you I promise I do. I promise that you are important to many. I am going to a concler and it makes me feel a bit better to let someone listen to how I feel without them feeling bad. If you want to email me you can and we can talk... everyone is important to someone. lanette
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| 11 Feb 2005 01:38 pm |
Vaga Guest | Life isn’t worth ending friends. Sorry to say, I suffer from severe depression but suicide doesn’t even come to mind. If you hang in there, you will see what I mean.
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| 15 Feb 2005 02:12 pm |
Jac Guest | what is your secret vaga
do u keep jolly even when things go sad
do u keep a stiff upper lip
How do u stay so unsuicided
Tell us, tell us
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| 16 Feb 2005 03:42 am |
hope Guest | i’m not suicidal, but i used to be. 'plz let me die', i know how you feel, but please don’t go through with it. i realise this post may come as too late, but i feel that you should hear my story to give you some hope that people are going through the same thing as you are.
i used to be happy, i used to have a close group of friends, i used to have a loving boyfriend who was perfect. i was best friends with an absolute angel. i had a perfect life. it all changed so quickly. while i was waiting for a taxi home one night this guy i knew walked past and we started talking. we walked back to his place and continued the conversation. i trusted this guy so i thought i was safe. he sexually assaulted me that night. i don’t want to go into details, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience. i ran out of his house and started the long trek home by foot. an hour or so later i stopped at my boyfriends street, not knowing why i was there, but just knowing that i needed to tell him what had happened. i knocked on the door hoping to hell that he was awake. he came to the door, and i could tell that he was upset. he told me that he’d just got a phone call from the guy i’d been with earlier that night and that he couldn’t believe i’d cheated on him. the door was slammed in my face and i continued on my way home. the next day i tried to contact my friends, but they had taken my boyfriends side of the story. my 'faithful friends' had transformed into the bitches everyone else saw them to be. i thought my life was over. i started cutting myself, knowing that no one would care if i just ended it, but not having the guts to do it in case things got better.
now, i’m not gonna say that all of a sudden my life was turned around, coz it wasn’t. i’m still upset and hurting inside. i still can’t trust people. i’m still single and i still don’t have a close group of friends. i am lonely. but i have hope. how can i not? everytime someone calls my name i am reminded of this hidden treasure everyone has to cherish. if you just hold on to this hope then eventually things will be alright again and you can get your life back on track. it won’t be easy, but at least try. there are people out there who care about you, so don’t give up on them.
i’m here if you ever need a friend,
don’t lose it,
hope.
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| 16 Feb 2005 10:38 am |
Jac the King Guest | man u all got some long posts, i gotta get out of here
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| 16 Feb 2005 12:24 pm |
Vaga Guest | Actually, when I’m feeling down and I want to die, I try and make a fresh start. For instance, I’m not fat or anything but I’m not buff. When I’m stressed, I work out. And I’m not a retard, but I’m not a genius, so I read. I learn and grow. I take care of my python and my mice and I’m going to start breeding soon. Just find something to do and stick with it. By the way, I’m only here for about an hour every day so forgive me if I can’t talk all the time.
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| 16 Feb 2005 04:06 pm |
Colonel Blippo0 Guest | its okay man, i love u anyhow u keep going with that hour u got and stay jolly
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| 17 Feb 2005 12:33 pm |
Vaga Guest | I’m here for a while, anyone need help?
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| 17 Feb 2005 12:34 pm |
SUPER JAC Guest | I could use a haircut.
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| 17 Feb 2005 12:35 pm |
Vaga Guest | Then go get a haircut.
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| 18 Feb 2005 05:25 am |
Tapos Kumar Moitra Guest | I HAVE PASSED THROUGH BAD TIMES, I HAVE BEEN TO THE PLACES IN LIFE WHERE DEATH SEEMS CHEAPER BUT TODAY ALL HAS CHANGED. TIME IS THE BEST HEALER. WAIT FOR YOUR TIME.
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| 18 Feb 2005 12:53 pm |
Vaga x Guest | Seriously, time heals everything
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| 22 Feb 2005 02:21 pm |
God Guest | What the fuck are you people crying about ohh i wana die bullshit, if u meet anyone out there like me they say fuckin do it. No real person gives a flying shit if you live or die, oh i lost my friends make more, oh my lover hates me, find a new one its not hard but fuck dont sit there im gona kill myself. (frustrateing hearing it all the time) when ever someone tells that to me i go home grab my gun hand it to them and say good finish the job. and not one of you snivveling little cunt hairs will ever kill yours least not till 40+ and u reilized theres nothing left to live for.
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| 23 Feb 2005 11:56 am |
ants64 Guest | screw you guys im going home.printed by eric cartmen.
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| 23 Feb 2005 02:16 pm |
CR Guest | Nice, how is everyone today?
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