Vintage wrote:
Pretty good..I’d still like to see a line by line 16 bar format and lyrics that flow to the beat you choose but..It was good
r u talkin to a specific person or both of us????? and yea we tried to match the beat as much as possible wed prolly have to make an audio for yall to understand this but can u point out an individual plz??? id like critism individually on this 2
i cant help wat i believe its just who i am
walkin down the crowded streets hearin the glocks go bam
(Good way to start off,everything flowed)
i dont understand whats it gunna be
rollin thru the hood niggas tryn kill me
(Ehh..The lines need to be longer so it can flow)
bustin back so fast givin u backlash
fillin u up wit heated lead go to sleep
wishin it wasnt them watchin pussies weep
(This was awkward because nothing rhymed with backlash,lines didnt change smoothly,and again,lines need to be longer)
im movin too fast runnin off of the line
goin in the wrong direction ppl pullin they nines
(Ok..this was decent)
facin em like a man not tryin to hide
doin as much good things god knoes i tried
(Lines need to be longer)
Ok..Overall, Ill give this a 5 or a 6/10..Your lines were kind of flowing but then they were inconsistent at times..But mostly,you need more depth..It needs to be a little more interesting..Just keepin it 100 with you..No hate jus elevate
Verse 2: Kyree
Pistol pistol, cradle to the “grave”//
By the way of the gun I make you my lyrical “slave”//
(ok..that was good)
Lyrikal Assassins lay you “down to rest”//
You dont fuck cause our “heat hits chests”//
(That was just very awkward)
“Go to sleep” when the heat is “aimed to meet” flesh//
So dont be in a state of shock when the bullets hit yo chest//
(Would be a good line if you already dint used the word chest to rhyme)
When I say “go to sleep” I dont mean “count them sheep”//
I mean go home say your prayers cause “you’ve met defeat”//
(Good)
“Trip not” cause I always stay on the “tip top”//
Kyree never “flip-flop” till the end of “hip-hop”//
(Again,it was decent)
And “it will never ever die”//
As long as this “pistol is by my side”//
Cause Im “infinite” when I murder these “instruments”//
Sin? fuck I never “repent from it”//
Got any armor I put a “dent in it”//
You fuck wit me Im gonna put an “end to it”//
(Overall this was a little bit better than Novas..probably a 6 or 7/10..It was decent but still I’m not seeing anything special in it though..Try and focus on adding more depth and sharpening up your skills..But the best part of this was the hook,it was definitely keeping the song rollin..No hate just elevate
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Music
» Lyrikal Assassins Present: Go To Sleep
