jokes

Ladya

Guest

HAHA you have some pretty good jokes, where do you gwet them from?

Ladya

Guest

oh i have one.. and i swear its not gross, or disturbing.

A little italian boy goes to his mother 5 days before christmas and says “mommy, i want a sega genesis for christmas” and his mother says: “well, if you want a sega genesis then you go write a letter to baby jesus” so the boy goes up to his room and takes a note pad and writes: “Dear baby jesus, if you bring me a sega genesis then i will be good for 1 whole year..."

“no no no no, i can not be good for a whole year..." so he tears up the paper and wites: “Dear baby jesus, if you bring me a sega genesis then i shall be good for 6-months..." “no no no no, i can not be good for 6-months” so he tears up the paper and looks at the statue of the virgin mary, takes it, puts it in his closet, locks he closet and begins to write: “Dear baby jesus, if u ever want to see ur mother again..."

nunu

Guest

looooooolz that is a funny one (Ladya)hehe

well the jokes that i post have been said to in skol ... when we have free periods but the one about the father and son ,,THings can be worse was sent to me by mail so i liked to share it here

in skol when our teacher gets tired or sees us boring she kinda tell us stories and jokes and even allow us to watch movies although we are 15 years old hehe.... its kinda fun

nunu

Guest

oh yea!! i just remembered a kewl joke that was said to me in a couple of years ago...its kinda long but relly funny

Heaven
Each Man Gives a Story

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?"

So the first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell — but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

“It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until this maniac ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

“Picture this," says the third man, “I’m naked hiding inside a refrigerator..."

you can imagine the rest........hehe

Ladya

Guest

HAHA thats so funny. i need to get some more jokes. well see ya

Bootiful person lol x

Guest

nunu ur jokes r ace, u just brightened up my very boring day THANKYOU

Backdoor Bob

Guest

When you die you get a clock in heaven, OK? Well when I contacted my friend who had died through a oujia board he told me this:
When he died he went to heaven. There in heaven he saw a building so grand in size, that it went as far as he could see. He stepped inside and all he could see was clocks.
Clocks clocks clocks, of all size shapes- some were spinning fast and some were spinning slow, but there was a first, middle and last name under each clock on a beautiful gold placard. Wow! he thought, then he walked over to the old man who was god and he was placing a clock on the wall. 'God? what are all these clocks for?'
God with a gleeful grin said to him,“Well these here clocks show how much one masturbated in life according to how fast the arms spin M’boy”
“Gee god thats cool! But wheres my clock outta all these?"
God lets out a gufawing laugh,“Well ya see son, your clock isn’t here in the temple of masturbation by chronography, it’s in the office as a fucking fan M’boy"

nunu

Guest

thax alot and im glad you like it Ladya and bootiful person lol x

i got this one ,,i dont think ive posted it here b4 but if i did im sorry lolz

B-day sex

-Day Sex

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck."
His friend said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend’s advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

“Yes, I did," Adam replied.

“Did she like it?"

“Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling “I’ll be back in an hour!!"

.......haha........lolz hope you liked it!! hehe

Backdoor Bob AKA THA NIGGLER

Guest

WANNA HEAR A BETTER JOKE BUDDY? HOW ABOUTY WHEN YOU SLID OUT YOUR MAMA’S CUNT....I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!

nunu

Guest

you talking to me backdoor bob??

Backdoor Bob AKA THA NIGGLER

Guest

YEAH BUT I’M JUST PLAYIN' WHAT ABOUT MY JOKE? REVIEW PLEASE?

nunu

Guest

oh ..the joke about the clock in heaven .gave me a good laugh...soz i didnt see the name when i read it the first time
i thought i reviewed it before i typed the recent joke soz
buddy??geez im a girl

Backdoor Bob AKA THA NIGGLER

Guest

THANK YOUSE YOURE NICE I LIKE YOU!!!

nunu

Guest

anytime lolz

Backdoor Bob AKA THA NIGGLER

Guest

MY KFC JOKE: WHAT DO WOMEN AND KFC HAVE IN COMMON? OCE YOU ARE DONE WITH THE THIGHS AND BREAST THE ONLY THING THATS LEFT IS A GREASY BOX TO PUT YOUR BONE IN!

meh x

Guest

Both very good jokes nunu and backdoor bob person! I dont really make jokes...I just laugh at them! Anyone here live in England?

Backdoor Bob AKA THA NIGGLER

Guest

I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA USA!

Chocolate is good

Guest

no fair me jealous.

big_gay_fag

Guest

hundreds of women are now queueing outside the police station looking to get their vagina’s waxed.

they hear the police are now doing brazilians for nothing! haha

big_gay_fag

Guest

ps. americans wont get it..( not because they are dumb of course)